Wednesday, December 29, 2010

of cats and underpants

so my cat has a really weird habit.  ok, she has several, but today i'm just going to focus on one.  namely the one where she likes to play with my underwear.  no, not while it's on  me, you sick people you.  the ones that reside in my laundry hamper mostly.  sometimes the clean ones that are in the dresser if the drawer is open (which is worse because then i feel like i can't wear them until i do laundry again).  it's honestly a little disturbing to me.  she will go out of her way to pull a pair out and then start rolling around with it in her paws.  she enjoys it way too much. she will also try to steal them off the bathroom floor if i'm in the shower and just rub on them.  she's weird.  it would be cute if she did that with socks or something less intimate, but she over looks all of those.  which is too bad because socks are easier to replace.  and trying to explain why there are tiny bite marks on my panties is just plain awkward.

i was originally going to call this post "of pussies and panties" just to mess with every one, but i thought better of it.  i was also going to post a picture with it, but i thought better of that as well.  it just seemed strange to have this many people see what my panties look like.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

so i got a new camera for christmas

and i'm using it to remind people to please trim their dogs' nails.  because if you don't, and they freak out when we try to take their temperature, then someone is going to have a limb that suffers.  such was the case last thursday.  some little dog decided to be ridiculously wiggly and pretty much just started to flail about when his temperature was being taken.  my left hand/wrist was the resulting casualty.  this picture is from like five minutes ago, so it's partially healed by this point.  it looked worse than it really was; it was pretty shallow and i didn't need stitches or anything.  but it still stung like hell when i had to clean it.  and the part over my wrist keeps getting stretched too far from just everyday activity.  and i have a tendency to use my injured body parts to located the nearest corner or door frame on a regular biases.  so while it is healing, it's doing so slowly.  so for the sake of my arms and any other arms of vet clinic employees, please try to trim your animals' nails before bringing them in.  we would all appreciate that.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

ahhh....the holidays

so it's only three more days until christmas.  i got all my shopping done over the weekend.  i still need to wrap everything, and i need to do that like now since i'm driving up to my parents' house tomorrow and i should probably have their gifts wrapped before they see them.  i'm also trying to get everything packed tonight (which never happens).  i already filled up my gas tank today.  i need to remember to bring the fail ninja with me to work in the morning because she's going to be boarding there while i'm gone.  the plan is to leave as soon as i get off work tomorrow because i have a five hour drive assuming it isn't raining.  if it starts to rain again, it will take about seven hours because of traffic.  at least my car just got a tune up so it shouldn't die on me on the drive up.

once i get there i'm not really going to have much downtime.  thursday night i'm going to see the christmas lights with my mom.  friday i'm hoping to go on a trail ride as long as it's not raining, and i get to meet ava, my friend's new doberman puppy.  saturday of course is christmas so we'll be doing our thing at home in the morning then driving two hours to get to my uncle's house.  there's a good chance i will have to be driving the second car, which means i won't be able to really have any drinks with dinner.  bummer because i have a feeling i'm going to need a few this year.  then back to my parents' place.  and then i get to drive back home on sunday.  after i get the cat from work, i need to try to go out and see the pony if it a) isn't too late in the day and b) not raining too hard.  and then i plan on collapsing until i need to get up for work at 7:00 a.m. monday morning.  

is it all going to be worth it?  maybe.  at least i get to see my dog and some of my family that i haven't seen for a while.  hopefully the family drama stays in check and we have a smooth dinner with everyone being there.  and i already know that i'm getting a new camera, dance shoes, and a new halter for the pony.

i don't expect to be able to get on line much while i'm away.  partly because i don't think i'll have a lot of time for it, and partly because my dad's computer is so slow compared to mine that it's just not worth it to me.  so since i probably won't be posting until next week:


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

a first for everything

today at work we had a client come in who had concerns about giving medications to  her dog.  this particular dog is ...... difficult ....... to give pills to. (and that's putting it very nicely.  you really don't want to know the choice words we use to describe this dog.)  so the owner comes in to buy a pilling gun.  i go into like a five minute little spiel about how to use the pilling gun properly and some other suggestions, tips and tricks to try to make it easier to medicate their dog.  after all this, the owner takes the pilling gun from me, looks me dead in the eye and asks "does that thing go all the way through your ear?"  she was referring to my industrial piercing.  this was the first time i have ever had anyone be distracted by any of my body art.  without so much as pausing i look straight back at her and say "yes it does."  her response?  "oh."  followed by a short pause and "do you have piercings anywhere else?"  i then showed her my right ear.  "so no really weird ones like your tongue or anything?"  my answer: "not yet."  i wonder how much of my pilling speech she remembers.  i guess i'll know if i see her back tomorrow.  maybe i should show her my tattoo then.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

that thing on top of your neck is not just there for show

in open letter to person at my barn who thought this was a good idea:

dear barn people: please remember to use your heads.  when a horse has on a light weight blanket, and the high of the day is only going to be 55, and it's going to rain the rest of the week, do not take off the blanket without telling the owner.  she has decided that leaving the blanket on for the one mild weather day will be fine considering it will still be in the thirties at night and raining for the second half of the week.  when you take off the blanket without telling her, she assumes that the horse is still wearing it and does not worry about having to go out and reblanket said horse when it does start to rain.  and if you do decided to remove the blanket without permission, do not hang it over the fence in such a way that when the rain does come, the blanket becomes as soaked as the horse and is not usable.  please try to remember this.

would you want to be the reason this cute face was all cold and wet?
so if you can't tell from reading above, some one decided to be "nice" and unblanket my horse on the one mild weather day we had this week.  if anyone knows me,  you know i'm checking on the weather report like every day during winter to decided if i want my horse to have a blanket on or not.  considering the high of the day was only going to be 55, and that it was in the thirties at night and would be cooling down and raining the rest of the week, i decided to leave the blanket on my horse.  he's 21 and it's hard to keep weight on him, so a light weight water proof blanket does wonders for him in the winter to help maintain a healthy weight.  someone at my barn apparently decided that 55 was too hot to have a blanket on and took his blanket off with out asking me, and with out telling me after.  and since it's pitch black out by the time i get off work, i can really only make it to the barn on the weekends during winter.  almost everyone at the barn knows this as well.  so when it started to rain on friday, i didn't worry too much because i thought prince would be nice and snug with his blanket on.  imagine my surprise when i braved the rain to go out to the barn today, only to find the blanket slung over the fence, totally drenched.  looking over the fence at my horse, i did not see the fuzzy woolly mammoth that i was expecting, but a drowned rat.  needless to say, i was not happy about this.  

i called up dani and was fuming.  she told me that if i could get prince dry, that i could use the blanket she had in the tack room.  luckily, the round pen was dry, so letting him roll in the dry sand helped.  using the cooler on him after made him dry enough to where i felt safe blanketing him.  i was able to get the spare blanket on him just before it started raining sideways.  so to whoever thought they were being "nice," don't ever do it again.  and if you do, for fucks sake let me know when you touch my horse with out my permission so shit like this doesn't happen.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

what i'm working with

so  three four things contribute to me being able to be a good gamer/blogger/geek.  i was going to origonally just say three, but then i realized i forgot the most important factor.  so here it is, the list of things that make me good at the geeky things i do:

numero uno:  the fact that i'm just plain awesome.  this really doesn't need to be elaborated on anymore than that, so moving on.

oooooh! shinny!

duce: the sexiness that is my computer.  there are a few upgrades that i need to get when i have some more money, but over all she's pretty well done.  runs WoW really well and that's all that matters.  and she just looks amazing.  (and yes, my computer is a girl.)

running about 4 programs right now

c) this next one was a gift from my dad after i kicked out my ex.  i had been using one of mike's old monitors for a while, and when he left it kinda left with him.  so since my dad is not so good with the words and the using of them to make me feel less sad, he buys me things when i get upset.  so far, this has worked out pretty well for me.  this time it amounted to this beauty: a 23" hd monitor.

#4) the fail ninja!  she goes with me anywhere i go, and any time i do anything on the computer, she is either curled up on the bed behind me (like she is now) or sitting on the ledge to my left.  she likes to keep me company and can usually be a good lap warmer.  and she's just adorably cute.  and i wanted another reason to post a pic of her here.

she really hates it when i disturb her slumber.  but it's the trade off she has to deal with for me feeding her.

Monday, December 13, 2010

the internal battle wages on

so right now it's a battle between my wallet and my waistline vs. my insatiable urge to get a burger and fries.  i swear, i get cravings like a pregnant lady.*  and they pretty much won't go away until i get whatever it is i am wanting.  i once had cravings for potstickers every day for two weeks straight because i was unable to go get any for that long.  i also get cravings for things like burritos, pizza, and wild bread.  and my will power will only hold on for so long against foods like that.  but at the same time, my wallet is reminding me how broke i am, and i need to go grocery shopping, as well as christmas shopping, and i need to buy new pants since my favorite jeans got ruined.  my waistline is reminding me that i will need to fit into that new pair of jeans, and i just lost ten pounds and i really don't need to gain that back.  but the burger.  it calls to me....

*no matt, i'm not pregnant.  i just eat like it sometimes

Sunday, December 12, 2010

i am now properly motivated to clean my apartment

so as we all know, sex is a great motivator.  it can start wars (hey look! a free wooden horse!).  a lack of it can end wars (ask the romans).  it can cause grown men to act like little boys.  it can cause little boys to feel as if they are grown men.  it can be used to achieve almost anything imaginable under the right circumstances.  the mere thought that there might be a chance of it at the end of the night can easily convince a man to empty out his wallet on drinks and fine dining.  it can also motivate me to clean my apartment.  and that's not even for guaranteed sex.

so i have about five days to get this done.  probably a good thing considering how many dishes i have to wash.  but what it comes down to is that if things go very well, i might not be coming home alone next weekend.  having already procured the free dinner last night, it is to be followed up with a night at the bars this weekend.  i have a feeling i might not be paying for that either.  and if the stars just happen to align in that right sort of way, i don't want to mood to be killed because he fell and broke his leg when he tripped over my pants on the floor.  the only time that would be ok would be if he was the one that put them there. 

there is also the possibility of the stars only slightly aligning,  which means we might end up watching a movie on the couch.  not a bad option considering i only have a love seat and he would have to sit very close to me.  but  in that case it means there will be lights on, and i want them to illuminate something other than a messy kitchen.  so i must now go forth and try to remember how to be domestic.  the down side of living alone.  i have all but forgotten how tidy up because lets face it, the cat doesn't care what the apartment looks like as long as there is food in her dish.  and while that might work on him over time, we're not anywhere near that point yet.

Friday, December 10, 2010

real life is about to get in the way

so a lot of shit just hit the fan in a big way.  there are a lot of issues going on with someone close to me that i need to help them work out.  expect me to be afk for a while.  if you believe in God or any other spiritual being, please send prayers our way.  if you know me personally, i'll let you know what's happening when it gets all sorted out.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

i need a fix to my addiction

so i didn't get to go to any ren faires this year.  just due to timing, money, my stupid car, and the cosmos just not lining up right, i was unable to get a fix to my addiction.  yes, i am a ren faire junkie.  have been since i was about fifteen when i decided to work at one to make some extra cash that summer.  it ended up being the best job i have ever had.  like if i could make a living doing this, i totally would.  i got to wear a costume, and we all know how much i love costumes.  i got to yell at people.  i got to have an accent (which i was pretty damn good at.  one lady even asked if that was my real voice).  i got to act.  i got to play.  and i got paid for it.  it really couldn't get any better than that.  and since then, i've been hooked.
parade of the dead, novato ren faire, circa 2006

i usually try to go to between two and three faires a year.  i almost always go to the nor cal faire because that's the company i worked for.  they are the original company, and by far put the most money, time and effort into their production and it shows.  i also tend to make it to the central coast faire because the timing works out pretty well for me.  and if i'm in the area, i'll go to the fresno fairethe novato faire or any number of other ones that don't have websites to link to.  a great place to find faires would be dragonmarsh.  they list faires by which month they are in, and from what i can tell cover pretty much all the main ones in several states.  also covers other events, like civil war reenactments and such.

but back to my addition.  i just love the environment.  the people there are awesome, and since i usually go in costume, and since my costume is awesome, they usually assume i work there.  which means they tend to interact with me a lot more than most people.  and i love it.  i will also play along if other faire goers think i work there.  as you know from my blizzcon post, i have no problem with random strangers wanting pictures of me in costume.  i would have it happen all the time when i worked there because of a gimmick i would pull to get people into my booth.  years of riding horses and dancing have given me pretty good balance.  i can stand on one foot for a crazy amount of time.  i can also balance random things on weird places of my body, like my head, my arm, or in this case my thigh.  since i worked at a food booth, i always had a plate of food with me when i was hawking.  i would stand on my left foot, cross my right leg in front of me, and balance the plate of food on my thigh.  i would then just point at my booth with both hands.  no need to yell anything at this point.  i would usually end up with a crowd of people standing around me to see how long i could keep it up for.  i could go from five to ten minutes without having to move.  this apparently made me a great oddity.  lots of business for our both, and lots of pictures for me.  

central coast ren faire, circa 2009
other than costumes, one of my favorite faire aspects would be the joust.  i know, big surprise there.  one of my prized collection pieces would be a piece of a broken lance that i was able to snatch up after it came flying towards gabi and me.  it bounced off the tree next to us, and gabi grabbed it for me before anyone else could.  my other favorite thing would be the parade of the dead (pictured above).  if you have never had the chance to see one of these before, you truly are missing out.  the parade is meant to ward off the "black death," or bubonic plague.  the people involved are dressed in black, and typically have skull-like masks (similar to the deatheaters in harry potter, except these have been around for way longer than the movies).  they also play some of the most awesome music.  it's very simple, and all on hand held instruments, but sounds incredible and spooky.  the way the parade works is that the marchers keep dancing as long as the music is playing.  if the music stops (which it will) they must freeze, and cannot move until the music starts again.  they also interact a lot with the faire goers, and i have ben caught up in the parade several times when the music stops.  you pretty much have to stand there and freeze with the person dancing with you.  you can't really move until they do.  unless you're stuck with a guy who will very slyly grab your ass.

and i missed all of that this year.  so if you see me in the corner later, hoodie over my head, twitching wildly, you'll know why.  and it looks like i'll have to wait until at least march or april to get my fix.

just a side note:  unless otherwise stated, all the pictures on my blog were taken by me.  please don't use them without asking.

Monday, December 6, 2010

963: the stuff nightmares are made of

this number causes me to have nightmares.  don't believe me?  ask melanie.  now, you might ask, why such a simple think as a number might cause me to break out in a cold sweat, hug a teddy bear, and curl up in the fetal position?  it's because this number brings back some of the most awful, terror-inducing memories i have of my college years.  it represents the epitome of pure evil.  it is the ear tag number of a cow.

now this isn't just any cow.  she's the reason why i have such an unbridled hatred of dairy cows.  my first experience with her happened to be during my very first milk shift after my training was done.  so here i am, flying solo, already pissed because two cows had bum rushed the gate and went on a wild romp around the dairy before being caught again.  and then this cow shows up.  a stupid little jersey cow.  she looked all cute and sweet, but that was all just a part of her plan to fool you.  while moving her pen up to the milk parlor, she decides to just flat out stop right in front of the barn.  no matter what i do, i cannot get this cow to move.  i try nicely at first, trying to coax her along.  then i try a slap on the rump.  then i try a tail twitch.  then i try a halter.  then i try a halter and a tail twitch.  basically everything but a cattle prod, and that was only because i didn't have one.  so twenty minutes later, this cow has still not moved.  oh, and did i mention it was pouring down rain?  i had to break down and go ask one of the senior milkers to help me move her.  i was in tears by that point.  the only thing that made me feel a little better was that it took two of them to get her into the barn.  i'm not going to go into details how, because it would probably piss off the animal rights groups.

this is also the cow that once decided to go into the milk cute backwards.  unless you've been to a dairy, this is a much bigger problem than you might realize.  the cutes leading to the milk stalls are made to be big enough for the cow to walk through, but small enough where they can't turn around.  this meant that i had to get the cow to walk backwards into the large pen again to be able to get her turned around.  this took about ten minutes to do, because cows really don't like walking backwards.  but i finally got her turned around to where she could now safely leave the milk parlor.  and how does she repay me?  by running by me so quickly that i barely had time to get out of her way.  and to make matters worse, she decided to try and body slam me into the wall.  i was able to get most of me out of harms way, but ended up sacrificing my wrist to do so.  the full 900 lbs of her furry smashed my wrist into the concrete wall.  i guess i ended up lucky, it didn't break.  but it was sprained for about 2 weeks.  which make my next few milk shifts just about the worst things ever since i had to do them one handed.  stupid cow.  i was glad when that one got sent down the road.  now who wants steak?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

i am not a sex camel

so this got brought up in conversation with one of my friends the other day.  i was bitching because it had been about two weeks since i had got any (which has now been remedied).  this got us talking about how long our longest dry spell had been.  sadly for him, his number was in the measurement of years.  for me, it's 4 1/2 months.  and that just about killed me.  this leads me to conclude that i could never be a sex camel.*  this also got me thinking about other topics.  how long is too long to go without it?  is there such thing as too much?  and why don't guys realize that we are lying when we say size doesn't matter?  well, i'm going to attempt at giving my own opinions on this.  if you're feeling brave, leave your answers in the comments.

how long is too long to go without it?
honestly, more than a week is too long for me. i start to get really edgy then.  the hormones start messing with my focus as well.  so these past two weeks were a little rough for me.  the 4 1/2 month period i mention earlier was just awful.  i swear i felt border line non functional because i just kept thinking about it.  i truly think that guys are able to handle long periods of inactivity way better than girls can.  this is based on the personal experience of myself and my friends.  if you don't believe me, ask a group of guys and a group of girls how long they can go with out it.  the results might surprise you.  the only reason it's easier for girls is because our pants don't announce to the world when we're feeling a little randy.  and when it comes right down to it, i would rather have constant meh sex than no sex at all. 

is there such thing as too much?
not really.  if it was up to me, i would have it twice a day every day (with the exception of a few days each month).  it doesn't have to be a long, drawn out, romantic session every time, but it also can't always be a quickie.  but it's the best way to wake up in the morning, and the best way to fall asleep at night, so why not do it both times?  it might take a little bit of stamina training to get the guy to be able to do this, but the practice is the fun part.

does size matter?
hell yes it does.  every girl has a minimum length that she enjoys, and never under estimate the power of width.  any girl who tells you it doesn't matter is just lying because you're smaller than she likes, but she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings.

*it's a scrubs reference.  look it up if you're brave.  just don't type in sex camel in the search bar.  trust me on this one.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

what i've become

so as alex pointed out, it's been a few days since i made any new posts.  sadly, there is a reason for this.  remember how there was a bit of foreshadowing in my last post?  well, it happened.  i have become a bit of a WoW zombie this week.   when i uploaded that pic of my new toon, she was level 18.  she is now level 40 and has some pretty kick ass gear because i've been doing a ton of random dungeons.  i also pvp like crazy.  so yeah, had a slight lapse into the dark zone that the friends and family of WoW players fear.  the zone where real life social skills are replaced by the ability to carry out a conversation in vent, guild chat and whisper, all while being #1 dps in your dungeon group.*  the place where there only reason you make yourself go to work is so that you can pay your next subscription fee.  the place where you start to question how important things like sleep and hygiene are because they cut into your play time.  but don't fear my friends and random internet peoples.  i have seen the light.  i promise to be less zombie like this upcoming week.  i have plans to write out a few posts this weekend, and they won't all be gamer related.  oh, and as a slight aside here, if you see alex, remember to be nice to him.  he holds weird grudges and plots out revenge like no other person i know.

*there is a slight upside to this for me.  remember the post about being a female gamer?  yeah, that one again.  well i have about three guys who i lovingly refer to as my "minions" who i can get to do pretty much anything i want.  yeah.  i'm that good.