hell hath no fury

this is the actual car, sadly we had no after pictures

don't ever piss off a girl.  we have friends who will always take our side and can make your life miserable.  case and point, halloween night 2004.  melanie had come home earlier that week, really upset.  "that guy is such an asshole."  that was all i needed to hear to know that revenge was needed.  "saran wrap" was my answer.  a quick trip to the store, and we were now the proud owners of 300' of saran wrap.  we decided to make our move on halloween.  i put on my black hoodie, and we waited until the cover of darkness.   the only thing we were missing was war paint.  we stealthy made it out of the dorm hall.  we had to be extra sly because he lived on the first floor.   once outside, we were able to relax some.  an eerier layer of fog had started to form in the parking lot.  while some might have balked at being outside on halloween in this weather, we basked in it.  it was the perfect cover for what needed to be done.  "where'd he park at?" "it's over here."  we crept up to the 2 door blue car with the stupid over sized spoiler  and observed our surroundings.  the car was not in the most favorable position for what had to be done.  it was in the middle of the lot, with several cars around who's owners could appear at anytime.  we were going to have to using all of our cunning to pull this one off without being caught.  

once we felt secure enough, we went to work.  out came the saran wrap.  the first victim was the doors.  there was no way in hell we were going to make this easy on him.  i took up post on the driver side, melanie on the passenger.  it took a few tries to perfect our technique, but we did it.  we were soon deftly wrapping the sides of the car, tossing the saran wrap roll over the top, then underneath.  suddenly we saw head lights.  "shit.  it's campus police.  hide!"  hoodie over the head, duck down between the rows of cars, and pray the fog holds.  slowly the patrol car rolled by.  this was the first time we saw the cops, but it was not the last.  we had to wait until they left the parking lot before we could start up again.  we knew we would have to be on our guard until the deed was finished.  this scene repeated itself three times, slowing our progress.  but we were determined.  we were out for blood.

once we had used about 200' to seal the doors, we moved on to the rest of the car.  that ugly spoiler need to be wrapped.  the side mirrors?  those too.  radio antenna? covered.  the coup de grâce would have to be when we wrapped the windshield wipers together.  as a lucky break for us, the dew from the fog was causing the saran wrap to hold tighter than we had expected.  once we were satisfied that it would take him at least three hours to undo our thirty minutes of work, we had to find a way to leave the scene unnoticed.  ducking down between the rows of cars, we ninja moved our way back inside.  we took the long way, entering the building from the opposite side of the parking lot.  we played it cool, the person at the front desk didn't suspect a thing.  our mission had been successful.  now to bask in the glorious aftermath that was to follow.

"did you see that guy's car?"  "wow, some one fucked that thing up good."  "dude, they even wrapped up the wiper blades."  the praises of our act could be heard echoing the halls for weeks to come.  we had become anonymous legends.  we heard second hand that the guy had been absolutely irate when he saw the car in the morning.  for the next several weeks, he parked his car under a street lamp as close to the main building as possible.  eventually someone realized that some girls had done it, but only 4 people other than our selves know the whole story.  the moral of the day?  don't fuck with girls.  when we're out for revenge, we do it  right.