i really need to stop doing this

ok so lately i've been watching a lot of ghost hunters: international and fact or faked: paranormal files on netflix.  the problem is that i've been watching them before i go to bed.  at the very least, it makes me have weird ass dreams.  depending on what's going on in the show, it also makes me stupidly jumpy.  the episode i was watching last night was talking  about how some guy had supposedly watched his dog get ripped in half by an alien (spoiler: he didn't, they disproved everything).  but right as this guy is talking about his dog having it's face torn in half, i hear my cat running around all crazy, so i look over and she is just flipping the fuck out.  right then i hear this really weird scratching/shuffling noise at my front door and i swear my heart stopped.  because of course the first thing that pops into my head is that it's something paranormal that's come to eat my face. so in my head i'm thinking i will look outside and see this:

via

but in all reality, what i see is this:

via

you know, see those side by side, i really don't think i was too far off.  i think i had a reason to be scared, that thing totally would have eaten my face.  fucking opossums. 

the endurance test

so as you all know, yesterday was my second favorite holiday.  this year it was especially awesome since it was on a saturday.  this meant i was paid the day before, and i didn't have to work the day of or the day after.  this also meant that we woke up at the ass crack of dawn (around 4:15ish in the morning) so that we could go get breakfast and then go get in line at the bar, thus ensuring that we were some of the first people in.  this allowed to to get free stuff that was set out on the bar, as well as stake a claim for prime seating.  and wow i am glad we did that because the place was packed.  i don't know how many drinks exactly that i ended up having, but i do know that four of them were free.  i also know that i still had money left over at the end of the night, so that was even better.  and aside from one middle aged women trying to steal my seat when i went to the bathroom, there were no problems at all the whole day.  and considering that we were there until about 9:30 pm, and that the place was full of drunk people, i think that's a pretty good record.  and i think that us lasting for over fifteen hours is also a pretty good record.  and i wasn't even hung over this morning.  several of the regular people at the bar are now calling my boyfriend and me their heroes, because we out lasted every one.  yeah, we're cool like that.  oh and just so i have more to brag about, a shot (ha!) of my free stuff that i got yesterday (not including the stuff i gave to other people): 

that would be a light up shot glass, a button, and a t-shirt, all from jameson.  it's ok to be jealous.  i did have to trade my boyfriend a jameson wrist band to get the shot glass, but it was worth.  mostly for the fact because that was the only way i could get him to stop blinding me with the damn thing.  that light is bright! 

going barefoot

note to self:  do NOT wear heels down town again unless i have a ride home.  while my apartment is close enough to comfortably walk to and from the bars in my converse, it is apparently way too far to walk to and from the bars in heels.  it doesn't matter how cute the shoes are, it is so not worth it.  my feet hate me with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns right now.  and i'm pretty sure i have open sores on the bottoms of them as well, or blisters at the very least.  damn my need to feel cute tonight!  i had to actually take my shoes off half way home and just go barefoot the rest of the way because i couldn't take it anymore.  so i survived the mile there, but only about half a mile on the way back.  and i just spent the last five minutes scrubbing the shit out of the bottom of my feet to remove all the nasty sidewalk stuff that i'm sure got on them.  i don't want pin worm or e. coli or whatever the hell disease the sidewalks can give you.  and when i go out for st. patrick's day next week, i'm sticking with the converse.

the way to my heart...

...is to buy me shoes.  well, it's a little more complicated than that, but shoes will definitely give you a major advantage.  because if you hadn't picked up on it before, i freakin' love shoes.  and for some reasons, this usually surprises people when they first learn it.  i guess i don't normally come off as having a girly side, but trust me, it's there.  for example, here is a very, very brief preview of my shoe collection:

seriously, super small sample.  this doesn't show any of my converse or tennis shoes.  or the other pairs of heels that i have.  nor does it show my flip flop collection (i swear i have a pair in every color).  but these are some of my favorites.  especially the red ones and the black heels with the white ribbon.  and if any one wants to buy me these (or literally anything else from their site), or these, or these in any color, i will love you forever.  oh and in case you think i'm the only one in my family with a crazy shoe obsession, check out this:

those belong to my brother.  and he has more in the closet.  so yeah, my shoe addition really isn't all that bad.  at least they look cute on me.

drama llama

 

ok well technically that is a drama alpaca, but that doesn't rhyme quite so nicely.  but anyway, who ever told the drama llama that it needed to visit me today, all i have to say is fuck you asshole!  may the fleas of a thousand camels assault your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch.  because i have enough every day drama of my own, and i really don't need to add to it.  the extremely abridged version of the story is that some women are just fucking crazy.  don't want to post too many details on here just because it involves other people as well and i don't want to impose too much on their privacy.  but if every one could just make me a promise right now, and agree not to marry crazy people, the world would be a better place.  mmmmmmk? now if you'll excuse me, this stress headache is killing me and i need to go down about a thousand more milligrams of ibuprofen.  because my liver doesn't already hate me enough from my large amounts of alcohol consumption.  guess i better start saving up for a new one now.