inc meltdown

so i'm pretty sure i'm about ready to have a meltdown.  i've just got too much going on and i'm not really sure if i can handle it all right now.  first off, i'm currently in a depression cycle.  which is coinciding with my insomnia cycle (hence why i'm writing this at 3:40 am).  these combined is making me very prone to headaches this week, and i have had several of them.  it is also making it extremely hard for me to be able to find a way to focus and/or be motivated to do pretty much anything.  which is also contributing to my insomnia because my mind keeps racing around from one thought to the next and i can't seem to be able to tell my brain to just shut off and sleep.  this is also why this post is really unorganized; this is exactly how my brain is working right now.  and i have my usual stressors about food, money, happiness.  i didn't get my raise at work, so i'm still living paycheck to paycheck for the time being.  on top of that i'm having to deal with a supervisors who acts like an insane bipolar bitch most of the time.  apparently she considers being extremely rude and mean to be a better way to get someone to do something than just asking nicely.  i'm also fairly certain that she is a large part as to why i didn't get my raise, but i don't have real proof on that.  also she isn't letting me have the day after christmas off, and she knows that my family is a five hour drive away on a good day.  so that means i'm leaving friday night after work, won't get to my parent's house until 11:00 pm at least, and i'll have to miss spending most of christmas with my family since i will be having to drive back here so i can work on monday.  and apparently the fact that i didn't take any holidays off last year, i haven't been home for the last three thanksgivings, this year is this only time i have asked for new year's off, and i've been there two fucking years longer than the people who are getting that day off doesn't mean anything.  i'm also way over analyzing an unrelated situation, which i'm almost one hundred percent sure sure is simply nothing but in my current mind state i'm convinced it's something.  and the stupid book i'm reading has something against quotation marks and starting a new paragraph when someone different is speaking, so i have no idea who is talking half the time.  i'm fairly convinced that if something doesn't change soon, i'm going to have a meltdown or explode or go insane or all of the above.  le sigh.  thirteen more days until i will be in las vegas and can spend the whole weekend in a slightly drunken stupor.  at least i'll be happy and calm then.  let's hope that holds me over until my birthday.