to my valentine ...

 ... who happens to be a bottle of sailor jerry because my boyfriend threw out his stupid back and is laying at home all loopy on pain meds.  oh, and i know i've made jokes about me beings a pro drinker and all, but the sad part is that it's kinda true.  the glass there on the left only has rum in it so far.  and that's my "starter drink."  which mean i'll end up adding more rum as the night goes on.  and considering that the sailor jerry was on sale for only $12 (apparently rite aid is aware that the single people also need some love today), this could be a slightly less shitty night.  even through i'm not really overly romantic on valentine's day (hell my gift to my guy is a jameson drinking glass), i do like to spend it with someone.  so being stuck at home alone with the cat has kind of put me in a sour mood.  at least he's taking me to the zoo this weekend.  and due to the fact that i'm a giant kid sometimes, shit like that makes me stupidly happy.  but until then, i'm going to be grouchy.  to all my single friends, i'll do a shot for you.  and just to keep things on the classy side:

skull and cross bones ice cubes.  because yes, i am that awesome.

how you know you got a good one

so i know i said to expect a few rants, but i'm actually in a decent mood tonight and it's really hard to rant when you're not angry.  first off, i've lost fifteen pounds, my face/neck area looks thinner, my pants are now too big on me, and i can tighten my belt up to the next notch.  i'm still a long way from my goal, but i'm making progress and not gaining it back.  so i'm pretty happy.  that also got me thinking about something my guy had said to me when i first started trying to lose wight.  

as a bit of a back story for those of you who don't know, my ex at one point actually stopped having sex with me because he thought i was too fat.  and he decided to tell me this one night when he was drunk and having sex with me.  came out as something along the lines of "i didn't think i would be doing this again with you until you lost weight."  yeah, you can tell he was a real winner there.  so this brings us to the difference between him and my current guy, and why my current guy is just freakin' awesome.  we were walking on the beach a few months back and i mentioned that i wanted to start trying to lose wight again.  his response was "why?  you look cute just the way your are."  honestly i don't think i've ever had any one say something about my weight that made me feel as good about myself as that did.  so yay to me for actually sticking with it and getting healthier.  and yay to my guy for being amazing.  i don't think he realized how much that little phrase meant to me. 

p.s.  the sex with the current one is great!  and we do it a lot.  so a big yay for that as well

preoccupied

not us, but i thought appropriate

 so i know it's been forever and a day since i update this thing.  i've been more than a little preoccupied lately.  and this time for good reasons!  i finally met a guy who didn't turn into a douche.  in fact, he has turned out to be pretty damn awesome.  so because of this, i've been spending a lot of time with him.  and, like me, he doesn't like just sitting around doing nothing. so we've actually been out doing a lot.  lots of beach time, a few day trips to different places, hitting up downtown on the weekends, usually going to farmers, a few concerts, some camping, plus we've got some bigger trips planned for later dates (more on those some other time).  all this has left me with severely reduced computer time, and i've been using that to play WoW.  because you know, i kinda still pay for that and i want to get my monies worth out of it and all.  but i do miss blogging.  so i've decided on a compromise for myself.  i usually have at least one or two alone nights each week, so i'm going to use that time to pre-write  out my posts for the for the following days.  pretty much all i'll have to do is just click a button each day, and you all can be entertained by my fantastic sense or wit and humor on a much more regular bases.  cheers!

how to not win my heart

so i really have been have like zero luck finding a decent guy in this town.  this would be my most recent example.  last friday i went to in-n-out and the zoo with this guy.  before we had met up, we had been texting for a few days, and i had been starting to have reservations about the whole thing because he was coming off as potentially being clingy.  but i figured i would have given him the benefit of the doubt and continue with our plans.  kinda wish i hadn't.  i think i spent a grand total of about two hours (actually less, now i think about it) with this guy.  i left party because it was nine million degrees outside and it was way too hot to stay at the zoo any longer, and partly because i wasn't feeling into him enough to deal with the nine million degree heat.  he had asked me if i wanted to come over for a movie night with him, which i politely declined.  he also asked me if i wanted to go to karaoke with him the next day and meet his family.  i said i had plans.  so later that night i was at home, doing my pvp thing on WoW with my guild.  he kept texting me, and i didn't respond too quickly because that's hard to do when you are shooting magic arrows at an orc's face.  so he texted me more, asking me what i was doing.  i was finally at a stopping point so i told him what i was doing and i couldn't fight and text.  so instead of waiting for me to let him know if i was available to talk, he kept texting me like every hour to see if i was done yet.

so by this point i am far from wanting to meet up with this guy again.  so i send him a message saying that i didn't feel a romantic type connection and would not be interested in pursuing this past a friendship only level.  his response was "ok. i dont think we got much of a chance to see but you feel what you feel. i would love to still be your friend.  im not gonna lie though, your cute, sweet and really awesome so im definately bummed"*  so i figure i'm ok now and he's got the point.  apparently i was wrong.  

last night i get a text from him asking "so am i just not your type?"  i responded by telling him that he came of as clingy in his texts and that wanting me to meet his family after just meeting him was just a bit too much.  i got the following texts in response to that: "oh i didnt mean to seem that way.  im not clingy at all.  i was just enjoying talking to you because your awesome."  "everyone i know meets my family because they are cool people.  i didnt want you to get creeped out by a kind gesture."  i didn't respond because quite frankly i didn't want to engage this conversation any further, so ten minutes later i get this: "im sorry if i freaked you out.  i know we have a lot in common and the same outlooks on things,  i guess i just got too excited..."  i still didn't respond, and so far i have not heard anything else from this guy, so hopefully that is the end of it. 

so i have a few words of advice to this guy in case of the off chance that he reads this one day.  first off, tone it down like ten notches.  while eventually i would want someone to meet my family also, it would be after like at least a month of dating, not after the first date.  as alex put it, this guy would have probably been wanting to elope off to vegas after like two weeks.  also, if a girl says she can't talk right now, don't keep asking her if she's free yet.  it's annoying.  and lastly (for now), learn the proper uses of "your" and "you're."  while i suck at spelling (and i literally don't know what i would do with out spell check) i at least know basic things like that.  i think we went over that back in fourth grade. **

*just an fyi, i'm not changing any of his spelling, grammar, sentence structure, anything.  using direct quotes here
** i am also aware that due to the laws of the internet, since i have pointed out someone's spelling and/or grammatical errors, this post will have at least three of my own spelling and/or grammatical errors that i did not see when proof reading 

two doses of bullsh*t for the price of one

the evil toilet

so this has been a week that was literally full of shit.  first on saturday, my damn toilet broke.  just flat out decided that it wasn't going to flush any more, and i have no idea why.  it had been working fine all week, no crazy item ended up inside it, it just decided that it hated me and wasn't going to work anymore.  so i'm plunging away at the damn thing for a good half hour with no progress being made.  i was trying to fix it myself because the maintenance guys at my apartment know far less about home repair than i do, and i only know the basics.  but after working on it for so long, i figured maybe someone else would have better luck.  or at least a better plunger.  but that didn't happen.  the office was closed, so i called the after hours line.  apparently the whole work team for my complex was on a bus somewhere and wouldn't be able to work on my toilet until tomorrow, and since it wasn't at the point of flooding everything they weren't going to call an outside plumber for it either.  when i asked what the hell i was supposed to do without a toilet for twenty four hours, it was suggested that i find another one to use.  yeah, that's practical.  because i always keep a spare toilet in my back pocket.  so i found this to be a very unappealing option.  so i tried plunging again off and on for about another hour and a half with no such luck.  i finally just got fed up and went over home depot.  after being lost for about ten minutes, i finally found someone to show me where the drain snakes were.  i ended up getting a hand crank drain auger for like $9 because there was no way i was going to wait another day to be able to use my own toilet.  luckily i was able to fix the problem after about ten minutes once i had the proper tool.  first dose of bullshit resolved.

the second dose was this morning.  the guy i had recently started talking with sent me a text saying he couldn't come over today and to let him know when i was awake and he would tell me why.  so i give him a call and he tells me that this girl he has know for a long time admitted to him that she liked him and so now he wants to see where things go with her.  and this is after how just a day ago he was telling me that he felt really comfortable and at ease around me and how he really enjoyed hanging out and blah blah blah.  he also pulled the whole "it's not you, it's me" type deal, which i absolutely hate.  it's beyond cliche and does absolutely nothing to make the other person feel better.  he also did the "let's still be friends" because apparently i'm still really cool to hang out with.  this is more or less like telling someone hey i really like you, but i just like someone else better.  so yeah, that's really not going to happen.  so sadly, another guy gets added to the list of ones who started out nice but either pulled some sort of jerk move on me and/or turned into an ass hole.  i would really love to meet a nice guy who will actually stay nice after the first week or two.  is that really so much to ask for?  but on the plus side, hearing my mom refer to him as being a douche bag on her own accord totally made it worth it.  another reason why i less than three my mom.

"you look like a russian mail order bride...

...and i mean that in a good way."  so this is probably the strangest and sweetest compliment i received this week.  this was referencing my eyes and the apparently very sultry look i can pull off with them, and was told to me by a new guy i have right now.  and no, this isn't just some guy i'm playing around with.  well, not totally.  there's plenty of playing, but it's different this time.  there's more to it than sex.  and it's kinda of scary in a way.  i've been on a lot of dates in the last year, but i never really cared too much how any of them turned out.  but this time i do.  it's a little weird sharing it this way, because i know he reads my blog from time to time.  i wasn't sure if i really wanted to put myself out there like this, but then i realized that i'm pretty sure that none of this will come as a surprise to him.  so while i'm still not sure how things are going to turn out yet because it's still really new, i can say that i'm really looking forward to finding out.  and if he does happen to read this, i just want to say thank you for making me feel so good about myself lately.  and i will be your russian (but mostly polish/german) mail order bride any time. 

alex made me do it!

why do so many of my stories start like that?  so this time is was starting an account at okcupid and it's all because of alex.  he wanted me to make one to see how well the compatibly match ups really were.  basically, my account was to be his control sample.  so since it's free and i had nothing better to do last night that answer a shit ton of random questions about myself, i figured what the hell.  so i do the whole thing, check and see how it matches us up,* blah, blah, blah.  anyway, about twenty minutes after i start this thing i get a message in my inbox.  so since i'm talking to alex on facebook while all this is going on, i let him know. if i remember right he said something along the lines of "that's bs!  i've only had one girl message me unprovoked, and you get a guy in less than an hour?"  yeah, yeah i did.  because i'm just that awesome.  and in less that twenty four hours, i have had a total of five guys contact me.  granted one was a pot head, and one is a crazy desperate guy that posts on craigslist every other fucking day, but still.  they picked me to creep on.  so take that alex.  i'm cooler than you are on this one.  and you can't bitch about it anyway since you made me sign up for it in the first place.  and no, listing the things i think about most as "sex and video games" is not cheating because it's true.  i can't help if the things i like are guy kryptonite. 

*66% match, 81% friends, 18% enemies.  his response? "why isn't the enemy score higher?"

i am now properly motivated to clean my apartment

so as we all know, sex is a great motivator.  it can start wars (hey look! a free wooden horse!).  a lack of it can end wars (ask the romans).  it can cause grown men to act like little boys.  it can cause little boys to feel as if they are grown men.  it can be used to achieve almost anything imaginable under the right circumstances.  the mere thought that there might be a chance of it at the end of the night can easily convince a man to empty out his wallet on drinks and fine dining.  it can also motivate me to clean my apartment.  and that's not even for guaranteed sex.

so i have about five days to get this done.  probably a good thing considering how many dishes i have to wash.  but what it comes down to is that if things go very well, i might not be coming home alone next weekend.  having already procured the free dinner last night, it is to be followed up with a night at the bars this weekend.  i have a feeling i might not be paying for that either.  and if the stars just happen to align in that right sort of way, i don't want to mood to be killed because he fell and broke his leg when he tripped over my pants on the floor.  the only time that would be ok would be if he was the one that put them there. 

there is also the possibility of the stars only slightly aligning,  which means we might end up watching a movie on the couch.  not a bad option considering i only have a love seat and he would have to sit very close to me.  but  in that case it means there will be lights on, and i want them to illuminate something other than a messy kitchen.  so i must now go forth and try to remember how to be domestic.  the down side of living alone.  i have all but forgotten how tidy up because lets face it, the cat doesn't care what the apartment looks like as long as there is food in her dish.  and while that might work on him over time, we're not anywhere near that point yet.