why i love having crazy ass friends

so, i was bored tonight.  i decided to announce that on facebook.  i simply stated "i'm bored.  someone entertain me."  my friend nikki took up the challenge.  the following ensued.  her story is in bold.  my  response in normal text.  my reaction thoughts italicized. 

Once upon a time in a far, far away land of (city omitted because i don't want stalkers) there was a girl who was extremely bored on Facebook. Since her internet hated her, she decided to go for a walk. Suddenly, a man in a hot pink spandex body suit on a unicycle jumped out of the bushes. He told her that he knew of her boredom and he was here to entertain her. He claimed to wear a 'special belt' and all she had to do was take it off of him and something amazing would happen! What does she do?!

omg i saw a guy on a unicycle driving home from the barn today. it was not as exciting as that though

i really did see a guy on a unicycle today.  a tiny part of me wanted to see him fall.

ERROR: Not a valid response. Improvising... please wait...  

ok fine, as a general rule, i do not disrobe men wearing spandex 

yeah, so i'm a little slow but i realized what she was doing here at this point.  and no, i do not like men in spandex.  especially pink spandex.  i don't think i want to know what would have happened if i had opted to take off the belt.

The girl was shocked the disgusted by the mans offer! She refused the offer and continued on her way. The spandex man was furious and exclaimed "FINE! YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!" and he tapped his belt which made epic sounds as he pedaled off down the street. Not long after the girl continued on her journey, another man appeared! "My name is Ped De File. You can call me Peddy. Would you like some candy little girl?" and suddenly a van pulled up with his companys name printed on him: The Lollipop Shop. The girl was tempted... she did want some candy. . .  

what is the first guy illidan? and is there anyway for me to steal the candy?

if you don't get the illidan reference, go here.  and never trust a guy with a van.

The girl  hated vans but wanted the candy. She reached in her purse and threw the Fail Ninja at Peddys face! Fail Ninja scratches the hell out of him. She kicks Peddy right square in the gems and hijacks the van! She speeds away,... but doesn't get very far. Due to high gas prices, the van does not have gas and it dies! She grabs some candy and ditches the van. She was about to enjoy a lollipop, but then it started to glow! She knew about this glow.. it was the glow of the ultra rare material: UberL33T Pixels!! She was going to be the richest gamer ever! "The Legendary Pixels! I'm set for life!!" she instantly put it on her FB status via iPhone and all of her gamer friends instantly liked it. Other said "Pics or it didnt happen." she defriended them. a voice came up behind her: "Give me that lollipop! The PIXELS SHALL BE MINE!!" Oh no! It was Spandex man! he was here to steal her epic loots! She needed to get away... she could fix the van, run... or summon her steed Princy before she got into combat...

 

prince, i choose you! (he does have a jousting costume after all)

i felt this needed a pokemon type answer.  i have no idea why.  i hate pokemon.  but i do like how my cat has now become a weapon.  and just and fyi, i don't have an iphone, but didn't want to stop her creative flow that she had going.  and i'm pretty sure if this was true, other alex and jefe would have been defriended for that reason.  also, kinda curious what would have happened if i had eaten the lollipop.

 

Prince appears in his jousting armor, since he was an epic mount! Spandex transforms into Illdian! "I need the Pixels to rule all of outland! I'll show Blizzard to replace me in an expansion and that lame ass Sunwell patch!" She throws the Fail Ninja, but Illdian deflects her with a ball of yarn! She distracts Illidian by finding him on Facebook to send him a friend request, but it fails! Illdian has her blocked! Desperate, she flashes him. It has no effect because Illidan is a homosexual.  She uses her iPhone to log into battle.net and uses RealID to get help. She calls upon her minions to her aid! Out of no where, every single one of them show up less than 30 seconds after she asked. All of her minions were stalkers and found out where she lived and moved to her town. They used Starbucks Wifi to play wow. She was disturbed and worried now! Her minions were all pale, malnourished, pimple faced, and red-eyed from hours of gaming! "Minions!! ATTACK!!" she ordered. All of the wow nerds turned to attack Illidan, but he threw an asian porn magazine and they all chased it! Oh no! She is defenseless

i have one gay minion. can i use him?

i actually thought really hard about this.  i mean, flashing is like my go to move, and if that doesn't work it totally throws off my game.

 

Out of all of the puny, ugly, horny, and nonathletic minions, there was one who was in amazing shape, very well kept, and had a very great fashion style! His butt looked amazing in jeans and epic good hair! He must be gay! The gay minion and Illidan were ready to have an epic battle! Illdan looked down on the one, lone minion. "You are nothing compared to.... hey nice shoes." her minion looked so pleased! "Oh my gosh, do you like them?? I think they A-DOR-ABLE! I can totally get you a pair." Illidan and her gay minion hit it off. Illidan gives up on his revenge against Blizzard and him and the gay minion go back to the Black Temple and have more sexy rumpus! Gay marriage becomes legal in Outland, along with pot. With the gay minions amazing powers, Outland becomes the universe capital of amazing fashion and the world gets sewn back together with hair gel. Shattrah city becomes a giant gay bar and A'dal turns into a giant disco ball. The world is a better place because of it. The wow gamer nerds get overly excited at the asian magazine and die from malnutrition. She overthrows blizzard and every other gaming company with her UberL33T pixel material. She then is self titled "The Queen of Gamers." and finds the cure to cancer. Based on a true story.

 

finally! i got the one true title i always wanted! and wouldn't a'dal be like the most awesome disco ball ever?

yeah, my goal in life is to be queen of the nerds.  it would be awesome.  you know what else would be awesome?  a gay guy redecorating outlands.  because i'm currently questing out there for loremaster.  and that place is ugly.  and depressing.  and having to look at it all day seriously makes me go on pvp killing sprees.  it's not pretty.  but it does help my honor score.

 

haahah yeah totally. Well hoped you were amused for a bit. im pretty sure im just weird for writing all of that lol

 

you have no idea how much your little story made me laugh. you have succeeded in entertaining me

hahah glad you liked it. I had fun with it :D

 

we should do this again sometime

 

Totally! 

 

to be continued? 

 

round two: fight!

or in my case, get knocked out.  so i'm sick again.  with strep throat.  again.  and it sucks.  again.  i finished taking the penicillin from the last bout about four days ago.  i was feeling great over the weekend.  yesterday my throat was a little sore, and taking the otc meds didn't help.  i work up this morning with my throat feeling even worse than it had yesterday and with my lymph glands swollen.  hmmm, starting to sound familiar?  so back to the doctor i went.  they ran a strep test again and a mono test as well just to make sure.  good news is that i don't have mono.  bad news is that i have strep again.  supposedly, strep has no resistance to penicillin, and according to the doctor i was probably re-exposed to it some how.  but just to be on the safe side, they put me on a different antibiotic.  so now i'm on augmentin, which is amoxicillin and clavulanate potassium.  according to the doctor this is the "big guns" as far as prescriptions go and should knock out anything i have going on.  let's just hope he's right.  while all this time of work is good for my loremaster achievement in WoW, it's not so great for my paychecks.  and if it was a re-exposure, will whoever keeps getting me sick please stop it? k thnx bye

they had lights inside their eyes

so i finally got this photo shoot done today.  i've been wanting to do it for a while, but had to mentally prepare for it.  you see, cemeteries kinda creep me out.  none of my close family members are in one, and i've only gone to one funeral that was in one.  so i don't really have a lot of experience in dealing with them.  but we have this one in town that has some really old and pretty eccentric grave markers.  like one family is literally buried under a pyramid.  and i knew i could get some really, really cool pictures if i could overcome the creepy feelings.  watching all those ghost hunter type shows on tv really didn't help with this.  but, just like i did when i went to the pier that had shark sightings to get good pictures, i did the same thing here.  and based on the shots i got, i think it was totally worth it.  as always, they are posted on the facebook page.  

so here's a little run down of my graveyard experience today.  first off, i want to be very respectful about it all.  i really didn't want to actually walk on anyone's grave.  but once i got there, i realized this would be all but impossible.  like i mentioned before, this is a really old graveyard.  some headstones were for civil war soldiers, and others were dated as recently as last year.  and because of this, there wasn't a whole lot of organization as to how the graves were placed.  some where extremely close to each other.  some of them really looked like they were almost on top of each other.  some seemed to be off by themselves, but had very old dates so i think the markers around them where either missing or had been destroyed over time.  the plots were facing every which direction.  so no matter how hard i tried, i ended up walking on a lot of them.  and i felt really bad about it.  most of the graves were very well taken care of, but there was a section that seemed to almost be totally forgotten.  most of them were over one hundred years old, but some were dated within the last thirty years.  i almost stepped on a few markers because the grass was so overgrown.  that creeped me out too.

while i didn't see any ghost, i did see some strange activity.  the oddest event of the day had actually very little to do with the graveyard other than it took place next to it.  there were two hippies that had parked their van along the side street near where i had parked my car.  the one sitting outside looked super paranoid, so i took a bit of a round about way to get into the cemetery to avoid walking by them.  when i was making my way back to my car, i figured out why he was so paranoid.  i could smell the weed from about one hundred feet away (hippies getting high, big surprise i know.)  and as i got closer to my car, a woman got out of the van, adjusted her top, and just walked away.  so yeah, weed and hookers next to dead people.  and here i was worried i might be doing something disrespectful.

oh, and in case you are wondering, the title is a line from the song "dead heats" by the stars and is from their album called "five ghosts."  it's literally a song about ghosts.  i felt it appropriate. 

just dance

i don't think i have actually talked about this topic before, and i have no idea why since it's a pretty big part of my life.  for whatever reason, when people first find out i'm a dancer they are kind of shocked.  maybe it's because of my other interests, maybe it's because i'm not the most in shape person, i don't really know.  and i think it might surprise them more that i'm actually pretty good at it.  i started in grade school with the jitter bug.  in high school i moved on to east coast swing, and kept with that through college.  for about the past year now i have been doing west coast swing.  i take classes once a week at least, sometimes twice if there is a deal going on at a different dance school.  and i must say, i'm getting pretty damn good at it.  and this is not just my own high opinion of myself (but that's part of it).  this is coming from the teachers and other people in the class.  i have been asked several ties in the last few months why i don't go to any of the public dance nights or dance parties.  part of the reason that i'm good is because i love it.  and i'm at the level now where we are learning some pretty bad ass moves.  and if you know anything about me, it's no surprise that i like to look bad ass.

 this is an example of west coast swing for those of you who don't know what it is:

and as a side note, i really really really want to do a flash mob

lately, i've been wanting to do more (or less, depending on how you look at it) than my dance class.  i'm on one of my kicks where i really want to go club dancing.  and while i personally don't consider this real dancing,* i still have a lot of fun doing it.  and the last time i went was on new year's with gabi.  and that's been too long.  so in the same way that i get ren faire withdrawals, i'm getting club/bar dancing withdrawals.   because of this, i have been listening to a lot of usher and dancing around my apartment in my skivvies.   which means i really, really, really want to go and i'm probably going to be slightly annoying about it until i can convince someone to go with me. so, who's up for it?
 

one more video because i love jordan and tatiana

*it's pretty much just dry humping in public.  which can be really fun and i really enjoy it, but it's not dancing in the way that i define it.

look! i can be girly

aren't they pretty?!?!?! <girly shriek>

so yesterday i went and got my nails did.  it's been about three years since i had acrylic nails done.  i used to get them pretty regularly back when i was in college, but due to money and the fact that most of my jobs involved working outside in conditions that would destroy any and all manicures within a ten mile radius, i thought it best to lay off the nails for a while.  this also gave my nails time to get normal again, since long term use of acrylic tips will pretty much kill your natural nails.  but, in a moment of girly weakness, i caved in.  there may or may not have been an ulterior motivation for this, but that is neither here nor there (i.e. i'm not allowed to talk about it).  but it was mostly the girly weakness.  and omg do they look pretty!  all super cute and pink and cute and pink and cute and pink.  yeah, pink is my weakness.  i used to hate it when i was a kid, but now i've come to terms with it.  i even have pink earrings, pink ends for my industrial, a few pink tops, sexy pink undies (of course), and pink converse shoes.  i also have this crazy neon pink bra that is pretty awesome.  imagine that barbie decided to come out with a lingerie line.  it looks like that.  but what can i say?  sometimes the gamer in me  gets fed up with people assuming that i'm a guy and feels the need to reassert that fact that i carry that double x on my chromosomes.  and that i just want to feel pretty.  and then the rocker side of me starts to scream "wtf are you doing? there is too much estrogen here now!  quick, give me skulls and cross bones and angry music! STAT!" 

gloria, doesn't this remind you of prom?

ok, that's better now.  balance has been restored.

"you look like a russian mail order bride...

...and i mean that in a good way."  so this is probably the strangest and sweetest compliment i received this week.  this was referencing my eyes and the apparently very sultry look i can pull off with them, and was told to me by a new guy i have right now.  and no, this isn't just some guy i'm playing around with.  well, not totally.  there's plenty of playing, but it's different this time.  there's more to it than sex.  and it's kinda of scary in a way.  i've been on a lot of dates in the last year, but i never really cared too much how any of them turned out.  but this time i do.  it's a little weird sharing it this way, because i know he reads my blog from time to time.  i wasn't sure if i really wanted to put myself out there like this, but then i realized that i'm pretty sure that none of this will come as a surprise to him.  so while i'm still not sure how things are going to turn out yet because it's still really new, i can say that i'm really looking forward to finding out.  and if he does happen to read this, i just want to say thank you for making me feel so good about myself lately.  and i will be your russian (but mostly polish/german) mail order bride any time. 

streptococcus equi

don't worry, he doesn't have streptococcus equi or strep throat.  lucky horse.

no, i do not have stangles.  but for some reason (i.e. way too many college classes on this topic) whenever i hear the word "strep" my brain automatically fills in the "tococcus equi" part.  and i'm pretty sure that since i don't fall into the equine category, that's not something i really have to worry about. what i do have is strep throat.  it started yesterday with just a mild sore throat.  tons of cough syrup, throat spray, and cough drops made work manageable.  lots of nyquil and i slept pretty well from about 10:00 pm until 2:30 am when i woke up thinking it was way later than it was.  once i calmed myself down by realizing that no, i did not sleep through my alarm, i could not fall back asleep for the longest time because it hurt too much to swallow.  i tried some more nyquil, which knocked me out, and then led me to have crazy messed up dreams where i could no longer use my voice a la little mermaid style.  when i woke up, i was relieved to find out i could in fact still talk, but disappointed because it hurt like a bitch to do so.  upon palpating my neck, i found the left lymph area to be extremely sore.  for the next half hour i debated on if i should go to work or go see a doctor.  upon remember that most of my job is talking which, as stated earlier, hurt like a bitch to do, i figured going to the doctor might be my best option.  finding a doctor turned out to be a little harder.

see, up until today, i have been blessed enough to not need a doctor since i moved here.  so finding an office that took both of my insurances (i am lucky enough to have double coverage from work and a family plan), that was taking new patients, and was able to see me today took a bit of work.  i ended up having to go to one about twenty miles away that could see me as a walk in.  and apparently that means you will spend your entire day in their lobby.  and by entire day, i mean three and a half hours in the lobby, and then another thirty minutes in the exam room before being seen.  i finished off my book while i was in the lobby, and i'm pretty sure i took a nap while i was sitting in the chair in the room.  so after finally getting to talk to what i think was a nurse practitioner and being gagged with a cotton swab, it was determined that i had strep (tococcus.....no, no i'm not a horse!) throat.  i got a prescription for penicillin, which are ridiculously huge pills that i need to take four times a day.   i'm pretty sure the people who made these pills never actually had strep, because when it fucking hurts this much to swallow, i don't want a damn horse pill.  and trust me on this one, i've seen horse pills.  and i have had to use ones that are this size before on prince.

the other down side here is that i'm still in the contagious stage for the next twenty four hours or so until the meds kick in.  which means i can't go to work or be around other people because i'm nice and don't really want to get them sick.  it also means i'm fucking stuck inside for two whole days, which means i will probably be going stir crazy by thursday.  on the up side, i did get to eat a whole pint of ice cream today without feeling guilty, i spent all day in my pajamas (once i got home), and instead of working i was watching movies in bed with the fail ninja.  i have been wanting a few more "me days," i just wish i didn't have to get sick to do it.