vodka and brownies

that's all i really have to say tonight.  i figure if i'm going to have a downward spiral, i'm going to enjoy it with booze and chocolate.  i will post something more insightful when i don't have a 1/3 of a bottle of vodka in me.  until then, enjoy this new band i have discovered.  i heard this song  for the first time on the radio today and instantly fell in love with them.  and the video is actually pretty awesome.  i've been really liking the slightly twisted stuff lately (probably because i've been feeling slightly twisted myself), and this falls nicely into that category without being over the top creepy.  enjoy!  and go have your own vodka-and-brownies celebration.*

* my God i hope this post still makes sense when i read it again tomorrow

so i dyed my hair blond

so i have this tendency to get really bored with my hair color.  i've kinda slowed down on changing it up lately because i was changing color about three times a year for several years.  there was one point where i dated this guy for a little over two years and he never saw my natural hair color.  and my hair got pretty fried from all that.  but i figure its been about seven months now since i did anything with it, so tonight was as good a time as any.   and while the title is true, that was not the end result.  since my hair is so dark naturally, i have to dye it blond and then use the actual color that i wanted just so it shows up (you see why this destroyed my hair for a while.  that's a shit ton of chemicals right there.  i'm surprised i don't have ammonia toxicity or something).  so i was a blond for about an hour tonight.  and no, i did not have more fun.  and i do not look good as a blond, so no, there are no pictures so don't even ask.  the end result was me becoming a redhead.

and i feel i need to expalin this picture a little bit.  my cat is sitting on my scale in the hallway because my bathroom is so small that i can't shut the door if i leave it in there.  it's a little blurry because i was taking this myself and i haven't really done any indoor pictures lately and didn't know what setting to use.  the purple thing on the  right on the floor is a cat toy.  there is a book on the floor because i didn't realize it fell off the shelf until i took the picture.  and the thing under the fail ninja on the floor would be pants and socks.  hey, i live alone.  what the fuck do i need to wear pants for?

people suck

so we had this guy (and this term is used loosely because he should no be allowed to associate with the rest of the human race) call into our office this morning.  i didn't take the call, but i was standing next to my coworker who did, so i could hear most of what was going on.  apparently last tuesday the cops had show up to raid this beings house, and he had two ounces of cocaine in his possession.   he decided that he did not want to be caught with this and had to get rid of it.  instead of flushing it down the toilet, rinsing it down the sink, tossing it out a window, etc., he decided that the best way to dispose of it would be to feed it to his dog.  so he did.  two fucking ounces of cocaine to this poor dog.  apparently the dog has been throwing up and vomiting and not eating since then.  and this douche bag has "no money now" (i'm guessing since he spent it all on drugs) and wants us to tell him what to do with the dog.  our advise was to bring it to animal service and say he found it.  that way the dog at least had a shot at getting treated and maybe getting a non douche bag owner.  and if the dog was too far gone to save (drugs can cause really severe kidney and liver damage that can be irreversible), at least its' suffering would end quickly.  so yeah, this call, combined with the three positive cases of tetrahydrocannabino toxicity (marijuana)  that we have seen in the last two weeks just reaffirms how much people can suck.  so to all the people who are responsible and take care of their pets, i thank you.  to the bottom dwellers who think it's a good idea to give drugs to dogs, may you burn in hell.

so my ice pack now fits the curvature of my chest

work went much more smoothly than i was anticipating.  i did have to hang on to a giant schnauzer, but luckily he is extremely well behaved and sat perfectly still.  i'm really happy about that because i don't really want to explain to my boss why i can't be holding on to moving animals this week.  hopefully tomorrow goes just as well.  luckily, i wasn't too sore for the larger part of the day, but i have been having to use the ice pack a lot at night.  so much so that it has now melted and reformed to fit in place just right.  i guess that's sort of a good thing because it makes icing them a lot easier.  like right now, i'm able to hold the ice pack with one hand and type this with the other.  now i just need to stop catching them on things.  and with that in mind, i have composed a short list of things you should really try to avoid after getting this kind of piercing.

bowling

air hockey

mixing grain buckets

running/jogging

holding crazy animals

not taking pain killers

not using ice often enough

wearing push up and/or plunge line bras

horseback riding

going outside when it's really cold and/or windy

anything involving bouncing

and while i was smart enough to avoid about half of these things, some of them are on the list due to a personal experience.  learn from my mistakes here.  i'm sure i'm going to make some new ones also while i get used to it.  i'll be sure to update you on those so you can be better prepared if you ever decide to be a little crazy like me.  and yes, i still think it was totally worth it.

so maybe i am a little masochistic

everyone thinks i'm crazy.  they all said it was going to hurt, and couldn't believe that i actually wanted to do it.  to most people, including myself, it all came as a total surprise that last night even happened at all.  i had been toying with the idea for a few months now, going back and forth between a firm conviction to go though with it and a firm conviction to entirely avoid the whole situation.  i always thought it looked awesome, but just couldn't decided if the pain would be worth it.  last night that all changed.

for the past two weeks, i have been stressed out and depressed.  nothing i would do would shake those feelings.  i needed to find something to make me happy, and i needed to do it soon.  at work a tangent of a thought popped into my head while i played with my industrial.  at first i thought it was just a fleeting fantasy, as that happens often when i think about body modifications.  usually i get an idea, think over it for a few moments, and it slips quietly away.  but not this one.  as the day went one, it went from a whisper of a thought to a screaming, yelling idea that i couldn't ignore any longer.  and once something gets that firmly set in my brain, i'm going to make it happen, and usually that same day.  by the time i got off work, i was so elated about the idea that i could not even remember why i ever had any doubts about it before.

after a shower and some unwinding, i picked up a friend from work.  she agreed to go with me for moral support, to take pictures, and because of curiosity: she had never seen a piercing done before.  we drove over to pismo because i had wanted joe to be the one to do it.  upon arrival, michelle informed us that joe had just left for the night.  she offered me a $10 off coupon if i wanted to come back tomorrow.  but i knew i couldn't wait until then or i would loose my nerve.  i asked if the shops in slo still had their piercers there, and she told me to go see ed, he'd be there for another hour.  she would still give me the $10 to make up for the inconvenience, and even called ahead to let them know i was on the way.  so back into the car, and back to slo.  

we get to the shop and ed is waiting for me.  i fill out the release for for the fourth time in the last ten months.  i've really been on a kick with this stuff lately.  he sets up the room while i'm checking off boxes that state no, i am not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and no, i do not have any bleeding conditions.  and then it's finally time.

he explains the whole process to me and goes over things like placement and angle.  it's not awkward at all to be standing in front of a total stranger topless because he's very professional and very chill about the whole thing.  after the marks are drawn and i'm happy with the placement, i settle myself onto the piercing chair and try not to think about it too much.  he puts a clamp on and tells me to do the breathing exercise.  one: breathe in.  two: hold it.  three: breathe out.  on three i close my eyes and squeeze down on my friend's hand while she takes pictures of the needle going through my left nipple.  he replaces the needle with the barbell and asks me how i'm doing.  so far, so good.  it hurt far less than i was expecting it to.  he asks if i need a break before round two and i say no.  i just want it done with.  repeat steps one, two and three on the right nipple.  and it's over.  i didn't cry, cuss, puke, or even move.  ed says that he wishes ass his clients were as easy to pierce as i was. 

so i am now the proud owner of a pair of pierced nipples.  they look bad ass, and the small amount of pain was entirely worth how ecstatic it made me feel.  early happy birthday to me.

it's not a seal

so i went out to the harbor today to take pictures of the sea lions.  SEA LIONS.  not seals, sea lions.  it was starting to actually get annoying at how many people kept referring to them as seals.  i can understand the out of state tourist not getting it, but when you live in california, and the animal is called the california sea lion, you really should know what it is.  so just to make sure everyone knows the difference, here's a handy little tip.  if it has ears, it's a sea lion.  if it just has an ear hole, it's a seal.  another way to tell the difference (and this one can be harder depending on the body position of the animal) is that sea lions have front flippers, while seals have more of a paw like appendage and have claws.  another handy tip?  there are no fucking seals where i live.  just sea lions.  i'm pretty sure the only seals the live along the california coast are elephant seals, and those are pretty damn obvious what with the big nose and the ugliness.

i'm still here!

so i really have just not been in the right mindset to sit down and come up with new posts this past week.  just a lot of stress and drama and i mentally wan't in a good place for it.  alex felt that this meant he should give a topic to write about.  he wants me to explain why girls will, as he put it, "unnecessarily cock block on their friends."  sadly for alex, this does not make a good blog topic because it can be summed up in three sentences.   here it goes:  we're girls.  we actually care about our friends and don't want them to wake up next to something they might regret.  that's just how we roll.*   ok, now that that has been taken care of, moving on to the actual topic for today: the beach! 

so it's january right now.  to most people, this means parkas, snow, and defrosting and/or digging out your car before leaving in the morning.  for me it mean temperatures in the 70's, tank tops, and sunburns.  i decided i needed some time to unwind, so i went to the beach.  got to play with my new camera, which i fall in love with all over again every time i use it.  i got to practice using the "sports capture" feature today on the surfers.  pretty much it takes as many high speed pictures as it can within fifteen seconds.  usually end up with about thirty plus pictures so you can so through and pick the bests ones.  also works well to capture waves crashing.  i could ramble on forever about my camera, but i'll stop here for now.  back on topic now (sort of).

so i hung out on the pier for a long time.  this is the dreaded pier for melanie, since her cell phone was cast off into davy jone's locker from this pier.  this is also where i got most of my surfer pictures, and there is a lot of sitting around and waiting for those.  damn them for being picky about waves.  but it gave me time to people watch in between.  i saw a lot of pretty cool tattoos today.  one guy even had the dark mark on his inner forearm.  (now that is one dedicated harry potter fan.)  saw a lot of people wearing things that they really shouldn't have been.  speedos and shorty shorts are never a good thing on any guy, not even the ones that are in shape.  also, certain ladies should not wear bikinis.  i include myself in this group for now.  if i know i shouldn't be doing it, why is it so hard for them to figure out?  there also seemed to be a lot of hippies out today for some reason.  at least i was not accosted by a crazy man talking about saving my soul before the world ended.  and yes, that really did happen last time i went.  apparently me and my mom are both in danger of going to hell.

after i decided i had enough surfer pictures, i walked around the town for a little bit.  bought some rings to use in place of the barbell for my industrial, just to change things up every once in a while.  eventually i made my way back to the sand.  lots of dogs were out today.  makes me want a puppy even more.  i pretty sure that if i had a dog i would take it with me to the beach every chance i got.  except my dog will actually listen to me when off lease and not go chasing after every other dog.  i can't wait to get a place with a yard and make that happen. 

so over all, it was a nice day.  the ocean alone always has a calming effect.  taking pictures has an even bigger one.  and walking around for about four hours enjoying both of those things adds up to one very stress free day.  and i get to do it all again monday night when i'm going to go take some sunset shots.  can't wait.

* now to just sit back and wait for him to bitch at me about how that's not a real answer :)

two birds with one lenses cap

overall it was a good day today.  it wasn't raining, which meant i got to go do two things that i love to do and haven't been able to for a while.  one was to ride my horse.  two was to try out my new camera.  and since i like taking pictures of animals and nature, i was able to do it all at the same place.  so not a lot of writing in today's post.  just want to show off how awesome my new camera is.   just to compare, here the same pic.  one taken with my old camera, one taken today with the new one.  look at how much more detail i can get now.  totally stoked about it.

shinny, new camera

old camera

on the the cool new pictures now!

Bottle Brush

Bottle Brush

Starburst Leaf

December Colors

Flowers in the Wind

The Stop

Headstall

Detail on a Bit

Control

Acorns

The Horn

sick day

so i went to work for two hours today and then left on a sick day.  i had woken up this morning with one of those headaches/stomachaches where you have the sensation that you are hung over even though you were sober the night before.  which is always the worst.  i feel like i'm paying the price for the fun someone else got to have.  after a cereal bar, a bottle of water, and 1,000 mg of tylenol didn't improve anything, i figured i was done for the day.  i'm pretty much going to just sleep it off.  probably going to have some rice in a bit and just take it easy.  i know it's not from actually being ill, so i should be doing better by tomorrow at the latest.  it's a lovely combination of being an insomniac and not getting sleep with a health dose of stress thrown in for good measure.  part of it is stress from work and money.  the other part is because the drama llama decided to show up again and has just made this a really rough week.  so i'm off to continue my nap, and probably kill things on WoW later, which is like the best stress relief ever.  makes me really miss my pvp server when i would take my max level into the newbie zones and just one shot everyone down for shits and giggles.  or at least until they all got pissed enough to get on the mains and take me out.  ahhh, the good old days.

because alex told me to

so i was having major writers block last night, and then blogger crashed and i could upload anyway so it turns out i spent twenty minutes trying to come up with an idea for no reason.  anyway, part of my creative process was bothering anyone who happened to be on line until they gave me something i could write about.  and alex told me that i haven't talked about sex in a while*, so here it goes. today's topic:

  manscaping!

look, if i have to go through all the trouble of shaving my underarms, my legs, and other areas, i think the guy should put forth some effort as well.  personally, i don't want my guy to look or feel like a bear skin rug.  a happy trail is sexy.  a shag carpet that i feel the need to take sheering blades to is not.  same goes for the back.  *shudders*  nothing grosses me out more than excessive back hair.  please, please, please shave or wax it off.  hell, i'll even do it for you.  if i can body clip a horse, i can damn sure body clip a guy.

also, you cannot expect me to keep the nether region smooth if you won't do the same.  ok, that's not totally true but i will complain about it.  and while bald is beautiful in that sense, i don't except a full strip down.  i know how hard that can be (no pun intended).  but at least trim it up some.  no part on your body should ever have more hair than the top of your head does (and i mean the big head).  not only does it look twenty times better, a lot of guys i've talked to say that they think they look bigger when things are nice and tidy.  and trust me, the ladies will appreciate it.  no one wants to explain how that hair got stuck between their teeth.

* this was much better than his other ideas, which were about obama, a 9-11 conspiracy involving the towers being filled with gold, and some other crazy things he caled "genus"**

**genus: a biology term used to classify living organisms

    genius: the word he really wanted to use

trapped

my circumstances negate the need for change, and prevent it from happening.  my job has become dead end with no foreseeable way for me to advance.  it pays me just enough to cover my cost of living, but with none left over for savings.  and with my hours getting cut, it might not even cover that.  my apartment costs too much for me to live here alone, but is too small to have a roommate that i'm not sharing a bed with.  because i can't save anything, i can't afford to move since i can't pay the outrageous amounts this town likes to call "deposits."  i really want to leave this area, because the cost of living is too high, but this goes back to the not having enough for a deposit.  i need a new car, because mine is getting old and starting to have problems, but i need it to last until i can find a new job.  and finding a job right now is difficult.  it's not worth changing jobs unless i'm making more than i am now, and there aren't a lot of jobs like that out there.  i think one of the worst things about this situation is how i got into.  i moved to this town for a person who is no longer in  my life.  after that eventually dissipated, i was stuck here.  too poor to live here and too poor to move.  other than the few friends i have made that were truly my friends and not people i met through him, i have nothing holding me here.  i need to find a way to break out.  and i need to do it soon before it starts to affect my sanity. 

the hangover

the fail ninja wakes me up at 8:30 this morning because she wants to be fed.  at this point i have a pounding headache and am still a little drunk.  after feeding the cat, i stumble back to bed and sleep for another six hours.  this time i am sober upon awakening, but still have an amazing headache.  next some food, water, large amounts of tylenol, and a phone call lying to my parents that no, i am not hung over.  about an hour later i am doing ok.  now to rewind to last night.

we started off at a bar-b-que.  had some of the most amazing chicken that i've ever eaten.  moved on to black sheep after dinner.  drink one: dirty girl scout.  lots of laughing and silly pictures on the back patio.  gabi buys me drink two: screw driver.  some random lady sees me takes a picture with my cell phone and is amazed by that.  half our group leaves around 10:00 because they need to drive home the next day.  gabi and i stay out on the patio for a while.  she's already falling asleep, but i tell her she needs to stay up until at least midnight.  it's a deal.  by this time the line to the girls room has spilled out onto the patio, and they run out of toilet paper.  bad timing i guess.  drink three: cranberry vodka. the patio is super crowded by this point.  having to elbow my way back to the table without spilling my drink.  success when i get back to gabi.  then the phone call to matt, which he probably liked more than we did.  drink four: bartender's choice.  lots of people around wearing silly wigs.  it's almost midnight now.  no count down happens, just a lot of cheering for the last thirty seconds of the year, followed by one really loud shout.  people start to disperse shortly after.

a text from alex prompts us to stumble over to mc carthy's.  alex is on the outside patio.  i walk over to talk to him, and the bouncer starts to give us shit.  i ignore him and just talk to alex over the fence.  gabi tells the bouncer that while she loves the irish, she won't pay to get into his bar.  he keeps giving us shit so we leave.  alex says he'll meet us later.

on the way back to black sheep we are distracted by marston's.  we don't want to drink here, but they have a dance floor.  we dance together since we're both girls, and that makes it hot.  i leave gabi to use the bathroom at one point.  the girl behind me line starts to hit on me.  she introduces herself and tells me she loves how the color of my sweatshirt looks on me.  i tell her my name and that it was a christmas gift.  she tells me something else about how it looks good on me, and then it's my turn for the restroom.  she is gone by the time i'm done.  when i get back to gabi, a dunk guy is trying to chat her up.  i can tell by her body language that she's wanting none of it.  i go up and start to dance with her again.  i whisper does she want this guy talking to her.  she says no.  i give him a look that pretty much says back off my girl or else.  it works.  a text from alex is asking us where the hell we are.  we forgot that we told him we were going back to black sheep.  we leave to meet him there.

back at black sheep, we can't find alex.  drink five: different bartender's choice.  some guy spills part of a drink on me, then hugs me to apologize.  we head out into the little alleyway and sit on the barricade chairs meant to keep people off the patio.  it's almost last call.  the spilled drink guy comes up and asks if we're ok since we're sitting alone.  we say we are waiting for a friend and he leaves.  alex finally shows up.  gabi tries to convince us to show off some dance moves.  alex gives me drink six: white russian.  he leaves to go find his ride.  we leave since the bar is closing.

i get a text from alex asking if he can crash on my couch since he can't find his ride.  i tell him where he can find us.  sitting outside in the cold air waiting for him feels nice.  he makes it over, but has found his ride at this point.  four of us are now trying to change gabi's phone back to the english settings, but no one can remember spanish in our current state of mind.  we all start to walk toward my place.  i'm walking with my arms around alex so i don't fall over.  he doesn't mind because i'm keeping his back warm.  his friend is leaning on me and telling us how she made her tutu.  we flag down a guy who has a bike with a cart attached to it and pay him to take me and alex's friend home.  alex and gabi wait for their rides to pick them up.  the other girl is trying really hard to flirt with the guy on the bike.  after he drops her off, he asks me if she's cool.  i tell him i don't know, and he says he regrets giving her his number.  we're now in front of my apartment complex.  i get off and walk to my unit since i don't want him to know which one it is.

i get my door open and it's close to 3:00 a.m. by this point.  i take out only one pair of earrings and leave the rest of the jewelry on.  i brush my teeth since they feel a little gross by this point.  i almost forget to take my contacts out.  i take off my pants and pass out with the fail ninja sleeping on top of me.  hello, 2011.  it's nice to meet you.