Monday, April 25, 2011

it's been a while...

somehow, i just don't look as scary with bunny ears
... since i've gone and fucked things up, the way i always do.  it's been a while... damn it now that song is stuck in my head.  but for reals now, it's been a while since i've done a WoW post.  so guess what's going to change.  it's an ab (arathi basin) weekend, which just so happens to be my favorite battle ground.  which makes me happy in ways that it probably shouldn't.  this is the only battle ground that i truly enjoy, and that fact the i get bonus points for doing it is just awesome.  so yeah, lots of killing of things going on right now.  and it also happens to be the noble garden celebration right now.  which is pretty much the WoW way of having easter themed events without being sued.  anywho, there is this wonderful little achievement called "shake your bunny maker."  in order to earn said achievement, you must take what is basically an easter basket and throw it at one female from each race in the game.  this results in a pair of bunny ears appearing on that particular female.  and believe it or not, i can tie these two things together.  you see, finding willing females of the opposite faction can be a little on the difficult side, considering most of them want to kill you dead.  and even if they themselves don't want to kill you, the guards in their towns most certainly do.  but there is a bit of a way around this.  since as a hunter, i tend to fight things from afar, i don't have much use for a melee weapon other than a boost to my stats.  this allows to me keep my little easter basket in my hands when i go to wage battle.  why would i do this you ask?  one, it looks adorable.  two, when some undead bitch thinks she is going to get all up in my business and kill me, i can laugh, throw bunny ears at her, and then shoot her in the face.  so i now get credit for both the bunny ears and her untimely death.  overall, i'd say that's pretty win/win for me.  

p.s. hi corzair.  surprised i'm a girl? 

Friday, April 22, 2011

oh noes! she lost her legs!

it was a ninja fight.  and well, being the fail ninja, she lost.  her legs that is.  apparently she was out numbered.  and surrounded.  and the other ninjas were better.

yeah i'm bored.  and sleep deprived.  what can i say?  it leads me to taking random pictures of my cat and making up stupid stories about her.   it keeps me awake and entertained.  don't judge me.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

i'm having a hate/hate relationship....

...with condoms.  yep, condoms.  didn't use to have a problem with them.  in fact, i had a very nice working relationship with them.  they kept me safe from babies and stds, and i kept them in a box, safe from the claws of the fail ninja.  never really had any issues except for maybe putting one on backwards and having to start over again.  but recently, something has changed.  i don't know if they are rebelling from suddenly being overworked, or for some reason being kept in a shoebox is no longer making them happy, but condoms have decided that they hate me lately.  within the last month i have had two of them break and one of them decided to play hide and seek.  which has meant i have needed to buy the plan b pill far too much in the last few weeks.  and that can get pretty damn pricey.  and the condoms themselves weren't cheep either, because i always use the good brands.  but they insist on being stupid, and for for this i have fired condoms.  assuming certain tests come back negative, i don't plan on using them again for a very long time.  so it's back on the pill for me.  which means more sex in more places, no pms, and two day periods.  so overall, a win/win situation if you ask me.  but now i have a shit ton of condoms just laying around that aren't going to be doing anything.  but a friend of mine has come up with a great solution on how to remedy this problem: balloon animals. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

why i love having crazy ass friends

so, i was bored tonight.  i decided to announce that on facebook.  i simply stated "i'm bored.  someone entertain me."  my friend nikki took up the challenge.  the following ensued.  her story is in bold.  my  response in normal text.  my reaction thoughts italicized. 

Once upon a time in a far, far away land of (city omitted because i don't want stalkers) there was a girl who was extremely bored on Facebook. Since her internet hated her, she decided to go for a walk. Suddenly, a man in a hot pink spandex body suit on a unicycle jumped out of the bushes. He told her that he knew of her boredom and he was here to entertain her. He claimed to wear a 'special belt' and all she had to do was take it off of him and something amazing would happen! What does she do?!

omg i saw a guy on a unicycle driving home from the barn today. it was not as exciting as that though
i really did see a guy on a unicycle today.  a tiny part of me wanted to see him fall.

ERROR: Not a valid response. Improvising... please wait...  

ok fine, as a general rule, i do not disrobe men wearing spandex 
yeah, so i'm a little slow but i realized what she was doing here at this point.  and no, i do not like men in spandex.  especially pink spandex.  i don't think i want to know what would have happened if i had opted to take off the belt.

The girl was shocked the disgusted by the mans offer! She refused the offer and continued on her way. The spandex man was furious and exclaimed "FINE! YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!" and he tapped his belt which made epic sounds as he pedaled off down the street. Not long after the girl continued on her journey, another man appeared! "My name is Ped De File. You can call me Peddy. Would you like some candy little girl?" and suddenly a van pulled up with his companys name printed on him: The Lollipop Shop. The girl was tempted... she did want some candy. . .  

what is the first guy illidan? and is there anyway for me to steal the candy?
if you don't get the illidan reference, go here.  and never trust a guy with a van.

The girl  hated vans but wanted the candy. She reached in her purse and threw the Fail Ninja at Peddys face! Fail Ninja scratches the hell out of him. She kicks Peddy right square in the gems and hijacks the van! She speeds away,... but doesn't get very far. Due to high gas prices, the van does not have gas and it dies! She grabs some candy and ditches the van. She was about to enjoy a lollipop, but then it started to glow! She knew about this glow.. it was the glow of the ultra rare material: UberL33T Pixels!! She was going to be the richest gamer ever! "The Legendary Pixels! I'm set for life!!" she instantly put it on her FB status via iPhone and all of her gamer friends instantly liked it. Other said "Pics or it didnt happen." she defriended them. a voice came up behind her: "Give me that lollipop! The PIXELS SHALL BE MINE!!" Oh no! It was Spandex man! he was here to steal her epic loots! She needed to get away... she could fix the van, run... or summon her steed Princy before she got into combat...
prince, i choose you! (he does have a jousting costume after all)
i felt this needed a pokemon type answer.  i have no idea why.  i hate pokemon.  but i do like how my cat has now become a weapon.  and just and fyi, i don't have an iphone, but didn't want to stop her creative flow that she had going.  and i'm pretty sure if this was true, other alex and jefe would have been defriended for that reason.  also, kinda curious what would have happened if i had eaten the lollipop.
Prince appears in his jousting armor, since he was an epic mount! Spandex transforms into Illdian! "I need the Pixels to rule all of outland! I'll show Blizzard to replace me in an expansion and that lame ass Sunwell patch!" She throws the Fail Ninja, but Illdian deflects her with a ball of yarn! She distracts Illidian by finding him on Facebook to send him a friend request, but it fails! Illdian has her blocked! Desperate, she flashes him. It has no effect because Illidan is a homosexual.  She uses her iPhone to log into and uses RealID to get help. She calls upon her minions to her aid! Out of no where, every single one of them show up less than 30 seconds after she asked. All of her minions were stalkers and found out where she lived and moved to her town. They used Starbucks Wifi to play wow. She was disturbed and worried now! Her minions were all pale, malnourished, pimple faced, and red-eyed from hours of gaming! "Minions!! ATTACK!!" she ordered. All of the wow nerds turned to attack Illidan, but he threw an asian porn magazine and they all chased it! Oh no! She is defenseless

i have one gay minion. can i use him?
i actually thought really hard about this.  i mean, flashing is like my go to move, and if that doesn't work it totally throws off my game.
Out of all of the puny, ugly, horny, and nonathletic minions, there was one who was in amazing shape, very well kept, and had a very great fashion style! His butt looked amazing in jeans and epic good hair! He must be gay! The gay minion and Illidan were ready to have an epic battle! Illdan looked down on the one, lone minion. "You are nothing compared to.... hey nice shoes." her minion looked so pleased! "Oh my gosh, do you like them?? I think they A-DOR-ABLE! I can totally get you a pair." Illidan and her gay minion hit it off. Illidan gives up on his revenge against Blizzard and him and the gay minion go back to the Black Temple and have more sexy rumpus! Gay marriage becomes legal in Outland, along with pot. With the gay minions amazing powers, Outland becomes the universe capital of amazing fashion and the world gets sewn back together with hair gel. Shattrah city becomes a giant gay bar and A'dal turns into a giant disco ball. The world is a better place because of it. The wow gamer nerds get overly excited at the asian magazine and die from malnutrition. She overthrows blizzard and every other gaming company with her UberL33T pixel material. She then is self titled "The Queen of Gamers." and finds the cure to cancer. Based on a true story.
finally! i got the one true title i always wanted! and wouldn't a'dal be like the most awesome disco ball ever?
yeah, my goal in life is to be queen of the nerds.  it would be awesome.  you know what else would be awesome?  a gay guy redecorating outlands.  because i'm currently questing out there for loremaster.  and that place is ugly.  and depressing.  and having to look at it all day seriously makes me go on pvp killing sprees.  it's not pretty.  but it does help my honor score.
haahah yeah totally. Well hoped you were amused for a bit. im pretty sure im just weird for writing all of that lol
you have no idea how much your little story made me laugh. you have succeeded in entertaining me

hahah glad you liked it. I had fun with it :D
we should do this again sometime
to be continued? 

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

round two: fight!

or in my case, get knocked out.  so i'm sick again.  with strep throat.  again.  and it sucks.  again.  i finished taking the penicillin from the last bout about four days ago.  i was feeling great over the weekend.  yesterday my throat was a little sore, and taking the otc meds didn't help.  i work up this morning with my throat feeling even worse than it had yesterday and with my lymph glands swollen.  hmmm, starting to sound familiar?  so back to the doctor i went.  they ran a strep test again and a mono test as well just to make sure.  good news is that i don't have mono.  bad news is that i have strep again.  supposedly, strep has no resistance to penicillin, and according to the doctor i was probably re-exposed to it some how.  but just to be on the safe side, they put me on a different antibiotic.  so now i'm on augmentin, which is amoxicillin and clavulanate potassium.  according to the doctor this is the "big guns" as far as prescriptions go and should knock out anything i have going on.  let's just hope he's right.  while all this time of work is good for my loremaster achievement in WoW, it's not so great for my paychecks.  and if it was a re-exposure, will whoever keeps getting me sick please stop it? k thnx bye

Saturday, April 2, 2011

they had lights inside their eyes

so i finally got this photo shoot done today.  i've been wanting to do it for a while, but had to mentally prepare for it.  you see, cemeteries kinda creep me out.  none of my close family members are in one, and i've only gone to one funeral that was in one.  so i don't really have a lot of experience in dealing with them.  but we have this one in town that has some really old and pretty eccentric grave markers.  like one family is literally buried under a pyramid.  and i knew i could get some really, really cool pictures if i could overcome the creepy feelings.  watching all those ghost hunter type shows on tv really didn't help with this.  but, just like i did when i went to the pier that had shark sightings to get good pictures, i did the same thing here.  and based on the shots i got, i think it was totally worth it.  as always, they are posted on the facebook page.  

so here's a little run down of my graveyard experience today.  first off, i want to be very respectful about it all.  i really didn't want to actually walk on anyone's grave.  but once i got there, i realized this would be all but impossible.  like i mentioned before, this is a really old graveyard.  some headstones were for civil war soldiers, and others were dated as recently as last year.  and because of this, there wasn't a whole lot of organization as to how the graves were placed.  some where extremely close to each other.  some of them really looked like they were almost on top of each other.  some seemed to be off by themselves, but had very old dates so i think the markers around them where either missing or had been destroyed over time.  the plots were facing every which direction.  so no matter how hard i tried, i ended up walking on a lot of them.  and i felt really bad about it.  most of the graves were very well taken care of, but there was a section that seemed to almost be totally forgotten.  most of them were over one hundred years old, but some were dated within the last thirty years.  i almost stepped on a few markers because the grass was so overgrown.  that creeped me out too.

while i didn't see any ghost, i did see some strange activity.  the oddest event of the day had actually very little to do with the graveyard other than it took place next to it.  there were two hippies that had parked their van along the side street near where i had parked my car.  the one sitting outside looked super paranoid, so i took a bit of a round about way to get into the cemetery to avoid walking by them.  when i was making my way back to my car, i figured out why he was so paranoid.  i could smell the weed from about one hundred feet away (hippies getting high, big surprise i know.)  and as i got closer to my car, a woman got out of the van, adjusted her top, and just walked away.  so yeah, weed and hookers next to dead people.  and here i was worried i might be doing something disrespectful.

oh, and in case you are wondering, the title is a line from the song "dead heats" by the stars and is from their album called "five ghosts."  it's literally a song about ghosts.  i felt it appropriate.