so, i was bored tonight. i decided to announce that on facebook. i simply stated "i'm bored. someone entertain me." my friend nikki took up the challenge. the following ensued. her story is in bold. my response in normal text. my reaction thoughts italicized.
Once upon a time in a far, far away land of (city omitted because i don't want stalkers) there was a girl who was extremely bored on Facebook. Since her internet hated her, she decided to go for a walk. Suddenly, a man in a hot pink spandex body suit on a unicycle jumped out of the bushes. He told her that he knew of her boredom and he was here to entertain her. He claimed to wear a 'special belt' and all she had to do was take it off of him and something amazing would happen! What does she do?!
omg i saw a guy on a unicycle driving home from the barn today. it was not as exciting as that though
i really did see a guy on a unicycle today. a tiny part of me wanted to see him fall.
ERROR: Not a valid response. Improvising... please wait...
ok fine, as a general rule, i do not disrobe men wearing spandex
yeah, so i'm a little slow but i realized what she was doing here at this point. and no, i do not like men in spandex. especially pink spandex. i don't think i want to know what would have happened if i had opted to take off the belt.
The girl was shocked the disgusted by the mans offer! She refused the offer and continued on her way. The spandex man was furious and exclaimed "FINE! YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!" and he tapped his belt which made epic sounds as he pedaled off down the street. Not long after the girl continued on her journey, another man appeared! "My name is Ped De File. You can call me Peddy. Would you like some candy little girl?" and suddenly a van pulled up with his companys name printed on him: The Lollipop Shop. The girl was tempted... she did want some candy. . .
what is the first guy illidan? and is there anyway for me to steal the candy?
if you don't get the illidan reference, go here. and never trust a guy with a van.
The girl hated vans but wanted the candy. She reached in her purse and threw the Fail Ninja at Peddys face! Fail Ninja scratches the hell out of him. She kicks Peddy right square in the gems and hijacks the van! She speeds away,... but doesn't get very far. Due to high gas prices, the van does not have gas and it dies! She grabs some candy and ditches the van. She was about to enjoy a lollipop, but then it started to glow! She knew about this glow.. it was the glow of the ultra rare material: UberL33T Pixels!! She was going to be the richest gamer ever! "The Legendary Pixels! I'm set for life!!" she instantly put it on her FB status via iPhone and all of her gamer friends instantly liked it. Other said "Pics or it didnt happen." she defriended them. a voice came up behind her: "Give me that lollipop! The PIXELS SHALL BE MINE!!" Oh no! It was Spandex man! he was here to steal her epic loots! She needed to get away... she could fix the van, run... or summon her steed Princy before she got into combat...
prince, i choose you! (he does have a jousting costume after all)
i felt this needed a pokemon type answer. i have no idea why. i hate pokemon. but i do like how my cat has now become a weapon. and just and fyi, i don't have an iphone, but didn't want to stop her creative flow that she had going. and i'm pretty sure if this was true, other alex and jefe would have been defriended for that reason. also, kinda curious what would have happened if i had eaten the lollipop.
Prince appears in his jousting armor, since he was an epic mount! Spandex transforms into Illdian! "I need the Pixels to rule all of outland! I'll show Blizzard to replace me in an expansion and that lame ass Sunwell patch!" She throws the Fail Ninja, but Illdian deflects her with a ball of yarn! She distracts Illidian by finding him on Facebook to send him a friend request, but it fails! Illdian has her blocked! Desperate, she flashes him. It has no effect because Illidan is a homosexual. She uses her iPhone to log into battle.net and uses RealID to get help. She calls upon her minions to her aid! Out of no where, every single one of them show up less than 30 seconds after she asked. All of her minions were stalkers and found out where she lived and moved to her town. They used Starbucks Wifi to play wow. She was disturbed and worried now! Her minions were all pale, malnourished, pimple faced, and red-eyed from hours of gaming! "Minions!! ATTACK!!" she ordered. All of the wow nerds turned to attack Illidan, but he threw an asian porn magazine and they all chased it! Oh no! She is defenseless
i have one gay minion. can i use him?
i actually thought really hard about this. i mean, flashing is like my go to move, and if that doesn't work it totally throws off my game.
Out of all of the puny, ugly, horny, and nonathletic minions, there was one who was in amazing shape, very well kept, and had a very great fashion style! His butt looked amazing in jeans and epic good hair! He must be gay! The gay minion and Illidan were ready to have an epic battle! Illdan looked down on the one, lone minion. "You are nothing compared to.... hey nice shoes." her minion looked so pleased! "Oh my gosh, do you like them?? I think they A-DOR-ABLE! I can totally get you a pair." Illidan and her gay minion hit it off. Illidan gives up on his revenge against Blizzard and him and the gay minion go back to the Black Temple and have more sexy rumpus! Gay marriage becomes legal in Outland, along with pot. With the gay minions amazing powers, Outland becomes the universe capital of amazing fashion and the world gets sewn back together with hair gel. Shattrah city becomes a giant gay bar and A'dal turns into a giant disco ball. The world is a better place because of it. The wow gamer nerds get overly excited at the asian magazine and die from malnutrition. She overthrows blizzard and every other gaming company with her UberL33T pixel material. She then is self titled "The Queen of Gamers." and finds the cure to cancer. Based on a true story.
finally! i got the one true title i always wanted! and wouldn't a'dal be like the most awesome disco ball ever?
yeah, my goal in life is to be queen of the nerds. it would be awesome. you know what else would be awesome? a gay guy redecorating outlands. because i'm currently questing out there for loremaster. and that place is ugly. and depressing. and having to look at it all day seriously makes me go on pvp killing sprees. it's not pretty. but it does help my honor score.
you have no idea how much your little story made me laugh. you have succeeded in entertaining me
hahah glad you liked it. I had fun with it :D
we should do this again sometime
Totally!
to be continued?
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