why i less-than-three my mom

so a week or two ago i was feeling pretty depressed.  i called my mom and was talking to her about that, and all the things that were stressing me out.  today i get a package in the mail from my mom with a little note.  the note said "hope these help you feel better."  below is what was in the package itself:

it's ok to be jealous of the awesomeness that is those flip flops

this is why i love my mom.  she's a huge dork (in a good way) and always does silly little things like this.  and yes, it totally made me feel better.  and these are now by far the most awesome flip flops i have.  and considering i have about twenty pairs (and that my be under guessing), that really is saying something.

for you less than geeky readers, less-than-three = <3 = heart = love.  hope that clears it up some

one hundred posts!

so i have one hundred posts now.  and i figure i should do something a little extra for this one.  so rather than talk about sex, WoW, or some random rambling about myself, i wanted to do something a little special for today.  i just have one thing to say:

thank you

i'm on the edge

me and my crazy hair

so i went on a photo excursion today, and i had two songs that i think would fit well for my little adventure's sound tack.  mostly because they kept replaying in my head.  one was "the edge of glory" by lady gaga.  this was because i quite literally was on the edge.  the trail i took was for the bluffs, and there were several danger signs posted along the way, warning about getting too close.  the other was "hair," also by lady gaga.  this was because it was crazy freakin' windy out and i spent most of the time looking like a troll doll.  

pretty obvious if you ask me

the original plan was to go down and take pictures of the tide pools.  sadly, that didn't happen.  the tide pools were closed off due to safety concerns.  the aforementioned wind was causing some pretty intense waves, making the whole tide pool become a giant trap for rip tide pulling you out to man eating sharks.  or you know, something similar.  which i can understand.  and the trail was still pretty and had lots of places to take pictures, so it wasn't a total loss.  the thing i take issue with is that it's about a mile hike down to the tide pools.  and rather than post something at the trail head warning potential beach goers of that area being closed, they posted something at the stairs that lead down to the beach.  all the way at the end of the trail.  oh well, at least it was good exercise.

scenic, pretty shot

now see, i respected the signs warning of the safety hazard of the tide pools.  i really did not feel like chancing death today.  i've done that once before and won, so i don't really want to press my luck.  apparently, not every one felt the same way.  there was a couple out having a picnic on one of the rocks.  a group of three collage students just walked around the barricade.  these all seemed like fine contenders for the darwin awards.  but then some lady brought her kids down there.  and honestly, this pisses me off like no other.  it's one thing if you want to be stupid with your own life.  i'm not going to argue if you want to take you stupid dna out of the gene pool.  but when people put their children and/or pets into a potentially dangerous situation, on purpose, that gets me going.  it's not the kids fault that it has stupid parents, and it's not the dog's fault it has a stupid owner.  the animal/child should not have to suffer for the stupidity of the owner/parents.  i can kinda see why people think you should have to pass a test to own animal or procreate.  

did i mention that i did this whole hike in flip flops

? yeah, that's how i roll

puerto rican blow jobs

so i asked the guys in my guild what i should write about tonight.  big mistake on my part.  broken said to write about blow jobs.  ed said to write about puerto ricans (since he is one).  broken said to combine the two.  i told them i only knew enough about one of those topics to write about it, and i wasn't telling which one.  this lead to some more guy type discussion, and yadda yadda yadda, we concluded that life is more fun when it's kinky.  actully, i concluded that.  then some one got killed and the subject got changed.  but it got me thinking.  it's about time i did another one of these type posts, so here it is.  today we're going to talk about fetishes.  more specifically, how to use a guy's fetish to benefit yourself.

and i can walk in these things

my best example would be my ex.  once i found out that he was a leg guy and had a mild foot fetish, i was set.  it's really, really easy to convince someone with a foot fetish to buy you cute shoes.  take the shoes at left for example.  i did not pay for those.  they were pretty much something that he bought for me that was really for him, but guess who gets to keep them after the break up.  score two for me.  these are fondly referred to as the stripper shoes because the heel is five and a half inches.  and while these are typically bedroom only shoes, i have worn them out in public once.  and i was drunk.  and i didn't fall over because i'm awesome like that.  oh, and i can climb a ladder while wearing them as well.  but i digress.  aside from bedroom shoes, he did buy me some really cute safe-to-wear-in-public shoes as well.  and stockings.  lots of stockings.  some are kinda cute and have this rocker girl vibe going.  some are more on the sexy side.  either way, i still have all of those too.  but use things like this to your advantage.  there are lots of fetishes out there that can lead to you owning lots of really cute things.  and yeah, it's manipulative, but in a good way.  i mean the more shoes he bought for me, the more options he had when it came time to get freaky.

oh and as a side note, he hates foot tattoos.  thinks they look trashy.  i got mine about a month after i kicked him out.  and then i posted it as my facebook picture for a while.  kind of like a giant "fuck you" since i know he saw it.  oh and i was wearing on of his favorite pairs of heels that i own.  yeah, maybe a little on the immature side, but it made me feel better.  don't judge me.

another side note: super hard to take a picture of your own feet at this angle.  i had to become a contortionist to do so.

omg yes!

dethling says "blizzcon!  fuck yeah!"

my line position was 1,113.  i had a wait time estimated at eleven minutes (but in reality it was only five).   this was much better than last year, where i was position 14,000 and had a thirty minute wait.  but now, $175 later, i'm going to blizzcon bitches (again)!  i'm feeling beyond lucky that i got such a low position in line.  it's currently about half an hour after tickets went on sale and they are all sold out now.  after five minutes, 13% of the available tickets had already sold.  but i got mine and that's all that matters.  i can't wait to see what's in the swag bag this year.  and to be a total attention whore and dress up again.  and now i have lots of time to make a costume.  as awesome as my death knight was last year, that was a pretty half-assed, last minute thing by my standards of costumes.  and i want to enter the costume contest this year and win some cash monies, and i need to look pretty bad ass to do that.  now for your enjoyment, five months of my totally geeking out about this again.  remember last year?  remember how this blog didn't start until a month before blizzcon?  yeah, it's going to be five times worse now.  you have been warned.  i'll do my best to not go too WoW crazy, but no promises.  as a side note, throw me some costume ideas.  i'm thinking slyvannas windrunner would be bad ass, but i need to do some major work on my abs before even considering walking around dressed as her.  so if you were a lucky girl like me, what would you dress up as?  share your idea in the comments. 

if i don't get a ticket tomorrow, i might just cry

ok so it's that most magical time of year again when blizzcon tickets go on sale.  and there are only two days that they are on sale for.  and if you don't get a ticket then, you're fucked.  because after that the only way to go is to get a ticket on e-bay for the low, low price of your first born child.  the first sale day was last saturday.  i made an executive decision that going to an interview for what would literally be my dream job was worth forfeiting my first chance at a ticket.   so now i only have one shot left and that's tomorrow night.  and i'm a little nervous.  the tickets sell out within about thirty minutes of going on sale, so if i don't have a low number in the virtual line then i'm pretty much just shit out of luck.  if i can't go, my only consolation will be that i sacrificed blizzcon for the perfect job.  if i get tickets tomorrow and don't get the job, at least i won't regret missing a ticket sale day.  and if i get the job and no ticket, well at least i know i made a good career move.  and if i don't get tickets or the job, well i'll probably cry myself to sleep and drink heavily for about two weeks.  at least i'm a nice drunk. 

p.s. there is this guy who i know from online who has a profile pic of my worst nightmare.  the end.  you're welcome nate.

prelude

anyone know what tomorrow is?  if you don't know, you're not a WoW nerd.  good for you.  but unless you are extremely new to this blog, it's pretty common knowledge that i am one.  just look back and see how many fucking posts i have about WoW.  in fact, i'm actually trying to be queen of the WoW nerds.  still can't figure out what tomorrow is?  sucks for you then, because i'm not telling.  until then, enjoy what is probably my favorite parody video ever.  and yes, i do know all the words.  and yes, i do sing this while i'm in the shower, at work, or dancing around in my undies while my cat looks at me all terrified.  don't judge me.

honestly, i had no idea how many wow post i had done before i wrote that sentence.  it just worked out really well that way that i had more than enough to cover every word.

share the road my ass

as promised, my rant on why i hate bicyclists.  and i don't mean the normal people who just ride their bike around town or whatever.  i mean the dumb asses who have their supper spiffy top of the line bikes and their ridiculously tight spandex that leaves far too little to the imagination.  these are the people who ride their stupid bikes (that probably cost more than my car, yet another reason to hate them) on roads that do not have bike lanes.  and why do these roads not have bike lanes?  because you were never meant to ride a fucking bike there and are either fucked up in the head and/or suicidal if you do so.  take my drive yesterday as an example.  i'm on this road that is nauseatingly windy and full of blind curves and stupid drivers who apparently don't have the ability to slow down their cars.  i'm terrified being on these kinds of road while i'm in my car, surrounded my fiber glass or plastic or whatever the hell saturns  are made out of.  but, like i said, these bikers are either messed up in the head and do not realize that they are putting themselves into a dangerous situation which is highly likely to end in them painting the road with their own blood, or they are willing putting themselves in that situation for just that reason.  and i do not want to be a part of an assisted suicide, or responsible for killing the mentally unwell. 

see?  death wish.  (source unknown)

and that "share the road" stuff is all bull crap.  apparently the bikers think this only applies to cars, and not them.  because they sure as hell don't share the road.  they don't even attempt to move over when you get stuck behind them because there is a blind curve in front of you and you don't have a death wish like they do so you are trying to avoid a head on collision.  they won't even acknowledge that you are there.  i know they can hear me because i'm in a fucking car.  and it's old with squeaky breaks.  so when i have to slam on the breaks because the stupid biker popped up out of no where, my breaks pretty much scream at me.  if i can hear it over the radio blasting, i know they can hear it.  

the worst part is when they ride next to each other, which i'm pretty sure is illegal on roads with no bike lanes.  it's bad enough if two of them are next to each other, but yesterday i had to deal with a group of three next to each other.  three!  i couldn't pass them forever because there were cars in the other lane.  i really think it should be legal to run them over at that point.  and even if it's not, i can't think of any good reason that a jury would convict me.

hey wait, wasn't the world ending today?

via

 /rant

oh look, another end of the world prediction turns out to be complete and utter bull shit.  who would have thunk it.  because i mean i always trust nut jobs who predict me having a premature death.  especially when they have such a proven track record.  i mean, look at how badly the world ended back between 1994 and 1996.  yeah, i mean all that nothingness was pretty epic.  like really, how many brain cells did these people have to kill off before they thought this was a logical idea?  in one article i read, this mother and father both believed the world would end today, but their three children were smart enough to know this was bull shit.  the problem is that the parents became so absorbed in the idea that they stopped saving money, stopped putting aside for their kids collage funds, and the mother quite her job like six months ago to "spread the word."  so basically these kids are now fucked because their parents had shit for brains.

and like i know i'm not the most versed person on the topic of the bible, but i'm pretty sure that only God was to know when the rapture would occur and that there was no way for man to know the date.  assuming this is true, it makes sense.  like if man where to know the exact date of the rapture, people would just fuck off until it happened.  and if you knew that it wasn't going to happen in your life time, there really isn't much incentive to behave yourself.  it would be all sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  it's like little kids around christmas time.  they know when the freakin' date is that they get rewarded.  so they are extra good around that date because they have motivation to be good.  the rest of the year, they are little terrors.  but if you tell them that you would randomly give them a new toy sometime during the year but they have no idea what day it will be and the must be good up until that day, it gives them more incentive to behave.  

and this brings me to part three of my rant.  while i personally do believe in a God and  Christ and an after life and all that jazz, i do not take the bible as a word for word truth and there are several reasons for this.  one, it was written several, if not hundreds, of years after the events would have happened.  two, it was heavily edited to fit in with cultural beliefs and customs of the time.  three, it was only written by men, so see back to reason two for why no women were allowed to contribute.  four, it was translated from original documents.  usually several times.  lots of stuff gets lost in translations.  five, it has been edited into several different versions.  people picked and chosed which parts they wanted to fit with their particular idea of religion.  what you find in a cathloic bible might not be in a luthern bible, especially since martin luther pretty much hated the cathloic church for all of the corruptness that was going on during his time.  i could keep going, but i think that's enough for one night.

/end rant

tune in tomorrow for why i hate bicyclists!

we survived!

 so friday the thirteenth just passed.  for this most lucky day, melanie and i decided to do something a little ... different.  see, most people try to avoid anything that might be considered creepy or spooky.  we did just the opposite.  we figured it would be a good idea to go on a flashlight tour of the winchester mystery house.  and it's a good thing we figured this a while ago, because a lot of other people had the same idea and the tours have been sold out for over a month. 

since i had never been to the house before, and since photography is not allowed inside (and by the time we got inside it was too dark for that to matter anyway) we showed up a few hours before the tour.  walking around the gardens and the outside of the house is free, so that's what we did.  i ended up taking over two hundred pictures.  i narrowed down the selection, did a little editing, and the better ones are posted here.

 our tour started at 10:30 p.m and ended just before midnight.  all the lights in the house are turned off, and a group of about twenty people are given flashlights and led around by the tour guide.  it's really not a scary experience as they don't try to freak you out at all.  it's pretty much the daytime tour minus the lights.  it was really cool though.  the house it self is pretty crazy, and using the flashlights to look at all the different stained glass was really cool.

and now for the part that everyone is going to ask me.  no, i did not see a ghost.  i did get dizzy and light headed, but i attributed this to just have walked up some crazy ass claustrophobia inducing stairs and being slightly over heated.  so i took off my jacket and the light headedness went away.  i did have one kind of a weird feeling at one point after that though.  i this feeling of intense pressure on my chests and it was a little hard to breathe.  this only happened in mrs. winchester's shower room and the seance room.  after that i was totally normal the rest of the night.  and while i don't necessarily think this was anything of the paranormal nature, it was unusual for me.  and i would love to go back sometime to see if i could experience anything else.  and who knows, maybe next time i will see that ghost.

so i'm a slacker

yeah, i know i've been really inconsistent about posting lately.  i just really have not had a lot to blog about lately.  either nothing was going on, or i didn't feel comfortable publishing the stuff that was.  either way, that should be changing with in the next few weeks.  i'm starting to get interviews set up in the hopes of finding a better job.  this could possibly lead to me moving to another city.  i also have a few events coming up, like this weekend (more details on that later), blizzcon tickets go on sale this month, horse expo next month, and a ren faire in july.  i also have a three day weekend this month, so hopefully something cool will happen then.  but to tide you over until i get more cool stuff to write about, i figured i would share some of the blogs and comics that i read on a daily bases.  enjoy!

the cheese blarg sarcastic humor with illustrations by the author

cake wrecks funny cake disasters by "professional" bakers

epbot in the words of the author, "geekery, girliness, and goofing off"

darths and droids we went over this already here

order of the stick they only update like once a week, which sucks because it's really funny.  d&d related.

capitol hillbillies a gay web comic.  literally.

headtrip  some story lines, mostly random, cute/cool drawings