Thursday, April 26, 2012

why i need to just stay quiet

so my mom is coming down for the weekend tomorrow.  and she's bringing me a new bike.  and we're getting drunk off whipped cream vodka on friday night and going to dinner at tahoe joe's saturday night.  and she's buying me food and stuff.  but anyway, my mom has a tendency to set me up to mess with her head a lot.  and i know i shouldn't, but it's really fun to do.  so we're talking today about the oh so exciting topic of when i last had a pelvic exam done, and i tell her it's been a while but i wasn't too worried since all my other ones were normal and i know the number of people i've slept with and it's not a huge number.  she replies that's a good thing because sleeping around is bad.  so just because i thought it was funny, i told her that i usually mostly try to not do that too often.  and because she's a mom, she has now determined that we need to have "a talk" when she gets here tomorrow.  fml

ps  not super happy with how blogger changed it's layout.  it took me like three days to figure out how to add a new post and how to check my stats.  fuck you change!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

on to the next

so i finally got to have sex again this week, so yay for that.  like i've said before, i get kinda crazy when i'm not getting some on the regular.  i was supposed to wait a full freakin' month to let my piercing heal up all the way, but i pretty much just said "fuck you" to that and just waited the two weeks while i had to keep it clean.  but now that i'm getting laid again, my mind is slightly clearer so i can start trying to write more often again.  on to the next!

oh and i really do have a next, i wasn't totally making that up.  i finally have a date to get my pin up tattoo.  for anyone who is new or anyone with a bad memory, i'm getting a pirate pin up in the sailor jerry style, sitting on an anchor, on the back of my left calf.  went and talked to my guy about it today.  set a date for june 16.  should have some sketches to share by the end of next month.  super excited about it, and it's going to be right in the price range that i was expecting.  i would like to try to get one more tattoo done before the end of the year as well.  i've decided that i want to get a pair of swallows as a clavicle tattoo.  for those that aren't into anatomy, your clavicle is your collar bone.  plan on getting those in the old school style also, but i will probably draw those.  i can't draw people, but i can draw birds.  also wanting to soften the colors on them a bit.  normally, they're done in really bold primary colors.  i think i still want to use a nice royal blue as the top color, but will probably use a soft pink as the undertones to make it a bit more feminine.  i like the balance of old style tattoo meets cute girly tattoo.  

as for the reason why i'm trying to get a total of three tattoos this year, well i want to be able to enjoy them for as long as i can before my skin gets all old and wrinkly.  the good thing is that all of my tattoos so far are very easy to cover with clothing if i don't feel like showing them off.  if i wear converse, pants, and a t-shirt, no one would know i had any work done unless i told them.  eventually i want a wrist tattoo and perhaps one behind the ear, but i want to be a little more established into a career before i do that.  but i figure four will totally hold me over for a while.  or not.  like my boyfriend said, he only intended on ever getting one (he has fourteen as of right now).  well, the five more piercings i plan on getting might help also.  just don't tell my mom, she doesn't want to know.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

why parents shouldn't text message

wow so my dad really needs to learn how to read his texts before sending them.  really wish i had a smart phone right now just so i could screen cap this and post the pic, but since i don't, here it goes.  bold is him, italicized is me. 

what up homo?

dad! reread what you just sent me!

what it b
can't you take a joke?

you need to turn off your auto correct so it doesn't call people bad names

what's a bad name, homey

reread what you sent.  your phone changed it to homo

but your not, you're my daughter

yeah i know.  turn off auto correct.  why does your phone know that word anyway?

not that there is anything wrong with it

that's still not a nice way to put it

ok i will look into it

how many people are you calling that name that your phone uses it for auto correct?

my bad

fail dad.  just fail

what's fail mean?

it means you failed at texting

maybe you failed at a joke?

just go fix your phone and try again when it will use nice words

yes dear :-) you are your monthers daughter

at least mom's phone doesn't call me bad names 

good night gracie*

you're a dork

*gracie is my mom's dog.  my dad says he uses that because it's from some show with george burns and gracie allen, but i have my doubts.**
** not doubting that it was on the show, the interwebs proved that was true,  but because that's why he says it

Saturday, April 7, 2012

it's never too early

so since there is no blizzcon this year, i get to spend extra time on a halloween costume.  as of right now, my plan is steampunk zombie.  this is totally subject to change several times between now and then, but it's what i'm leaning toward as of right now.  a large portion of this is because it will give me an excuse to buy a shit ton of steampunk jewelry and accessories, which i can always reuse later at a con or just for every day use.  it also gives me more chances to do some crazy effects makeup.  i've already been plotting new idea for zombies march, and this way i'll be able to practice them on other people first before doing it on myself.  i'm going to add leg wounds, as well using things like cereal to add more weird skin textures, and i want to try out some things i saw with scar wax.  now if you'll excuse me, i have some window shopping to do. 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

the mystery of the sphynx

so in a random thought i had the other day, i decided that i am now going to refer to my downstairs area as my shpynx.  not sphinx as in the winged lion with a woman's head in eqypt. but shpynx as in the breed of hairless cat.  think about that for a minute and just let that sink in.  once you can appreciate how witty and clever that is, move on to the rest of the post.

so today, i decided that the sphynx need some treasure in the form of a curved barbell.  and that curved barbell came via a vch piercing.  look it up if you need to.  just don't do it if you're at work or in front of your grandma.  that might make things a little awkward.  ok so everyone knows what i'm talking about now?  good.  and no, it really doesn't hurt that bad.  i went to see ed (like i always do) and i just adore him.  he makes me feel so comfortable and not creeped out at all that he's staring at my sphynix, contemplating the best way to stab it.  i had to go it alone since my boyfriend got stuck babysitting his nieces tonight.  i really need to bring a stress ball or something when i do that, because i usually like to squeeze someone's hand when i get pierced, and that doesn't work so well when one hand is holding you undies out of the way.  so since i know some people actually do want to know, here's how it went down:

so like i said, i had to go alone.  it was surprisingly busy for a wednesday night, so i had to wait about an hour.  not like i minded, the couch they have there is insanely comfortable.  like i could sleep on it every night and wake up feel great.  also, i didn't want to go back to my car because there were some crazy bums high on something in the parking lot and i didn't want to deal with them.  when it gets to my turn, ed actually remembers what i wanted to get pierced since i talked to him about it a month or two ago when i went in to buy some new monroe jewelry.  as he put it, he wore his "hood piercing shirt" that day.  so he's getting all set up and explaining to me what the process is going to be.  so i get all settled on the chair and he's doing his thing to prep the area.  he stops and tells me "not to be weird or anything, but thank you so much for taking care of things before you came in.  you have no idea how many people come in for this and haven't showered first."  i just laugh and tell him that i did laundry last night so i would have clean undies to wear, just for him.  so he gets the area all prepped, places the mark where he's going to pierce, and places a receiving tube under the skin.  which just felt weird, considering things don't ever go under there.  overall, everything is fine so far.  so we're getting ready to do the count, and he counts one, and then i hear "oh shit."  

basically not something i want to hear with a needle near my shpynx.  so he tells me it's ok, he just realized that he wanted to changed the angle a little bit first to make for a better piercing and he felt bad since the needle was next to my skin when he had to do it.  so he adjust everything, does the real three count, and stabs me with a needle.  honestly, not near as bad as you would expect.  there is like five seconds of really sharp pain, and then nothing.  it literally feels like nothing happened at all less than a minute after getting it done.  even now as i'm sitting here, the only time i feel it is if i lean forward because it puts a little pressure on the area.  sitting up, it's like nothing at all.  and it looks amazing.  i'm glad he readjusted because the placing is just perfect.  totally straight, lined up where it should be, and the bottom bead of the barbell sits exactly where it should be.  only downside is that i can't have sex for a little while now.  but once i can, it will so make this worth it.