slacker me

omg i know i've been super slacker-ish with the keeping up on the posting and such this month.  i'll try to fix that soon, but not tonight.  next week i might have video of me getting my monroe piercing.  at the very least i'll have pictures from new year's eve in las vegas.  and until then, oh look!  a distraction!

via

 ps i'm totally getting a pirate pin up girl as a tattoo sometime in the near future.  i have it all planed out, just need someone to draw it for me.  *hint hint*

inc meltdown

so i'm pretty sure i'm about ready to have a meltdown.  i've just got too much going on and i'm not really sure if i can handle it all right now.  first off, i'm currently in a depression cycle.  which is coinciding with my insomnia cycle (hence why i'm writing this at 3:40 am).  these combined is making me very prone to headaches this week, and i have had several of them.  it is also making it extremely hard for me to be able to find a way to focus and/or be motivated to do pretty much anything.  which is also contributing to my insomnia because my mind keeps racing around from one thought to the next and i can't seem to be able to tell my brain to just shut off and sleep.  this is also why this post is really unorganized; this is exactly how my brain is working right now.  and i have my usual stressors about food, money, happiness.  i didn't get my raise at work, so i'm still living paycheck to paycheck for the time being.  on top of that i'm having to deal with a supervisors who acts like an insane bipolar bitch most of the time.  apparently she considers being extremely rude and mean to be a better way to get someone to do something than just asking nicely.  i'm also fairly certain that she is a large part as to why i didn't get my raise, but i don't have real proof on that.  also she isn't letting me have the day after christmas off, and she knows that my family is a five hour drive away on a good day.  so that means i'm leaving friday night after work, won't get to my parent's house until 11:00 pm at least, and i'll have to miss spending most of christmas with my family since i will be having to drive back here so i can work on monday.  and apparently the fact that i didn't take any holidays off last year, i haven't been home for the last three thanksgivings, this year is this only time i have asked for new year's off, and i've been there two fucking years longer than the people who are getting that day off doesn't mean anything.  i'm also way over analyzing an unrelated situation, which i'm almost one hundred percent sure sure is simply nothing but in my current mind state i'm convinced it's something.  and the stupid book i'm reading has something against quotation marks and starting a new paragraph when someone different is speaking, so i have no idea who is talking half the time.  i'm fairly convinced that if something doesn't change soon, i'm going to have a meltdown or explode or go insane or all of the above.  le sigh.  thirteen more days until i will be in las vegas and can spend the whole weekend in a slightly drunken stupor.  at least i'll be happy and calm then.  let's hope that holds me over until my birthday. 

fuuuuuuuuck

migraines.  fuck them.  that is all.

boobs

so the guys in my guild are pretty fascinated with my boobs right about now.  so this is for them.  sorta.  it's kind of a compromise.  they wanted my actual boobs, i'm writing about bras.  deal with it boys, it's my blog. 

thank you torrid for cute bras in my size

so the main topic of this post is pretty much why i hate shopping for bras.  see i love my boobs.  my boyfriend loves my boobs.  apparently the guys in my guild love my boobs.  drunk lesbians love my boobs.  but the people who make bras, they do not love my boobs.  and it makes me very sad.  they think that just because i'm a DDD, i have to wear old lady bras.  and i refuse to do that.  hell i don't even want to wear an old lady bra when i am an old lady.  i want cute bras forever!  viva los sujetadores lindo!*  

anyway, this leves me with very few options since i can't buy bras in the stores.  either they look like the aforementioned old lady bras, or the stores are stupid like victoria's secret and don't carry my size.  want to know what that bitch's secret is?  she hates big boobs!  at least torrid loves big boobs.  but the nearest torrid is a two and a half hour drive.  and that is why i have to buy all of my bras on line.  which is a pain in the ass. if you can't try it on and make sure it's comfortable and cute, you're taking a huge gamble.  because if you don't realize that you've gone from a DD to a DDD, you have to pay an extra $8.00 to have a new size reshipped to you.  le sigh.  when will the stores start showing love to the big boobs?  when!?!?!?!?

*babel fish better not have failed me on that one

better than birth control

so i won't lie.  i really want to have kids.  i'm looking forward to everything but actually being pregnant and not being able to drink alcohol or caffeine for like a year and a half.  but i'm not trying to have kids yet.  as much as i really, really want to, the number one reason i don't is actually quite simple (aside from the fact that i'm not married and my guy doesn't want kids until he's thirty).  this is how much it costs per year on average to raise a baby in my state:

 and this is how much money i have in my bank account at this very moment:

somehow, those two just don't quite add up to enough.  and because i don't want my kid to eat cat food, and to actually have disposable dippers because i am not washing and reusing those things, i will hold off on the whole procreation thing. not to mention the fact that my insurance from work does not cover maternity, so all of that would be an out of pocket expense.  and i am having the damn epidural, screw that "all natural" birthing crap.  i want the drugs.  and drugs are expensive.  so until i can  finally afford pop one out, you all have to endure my crazy cat lady side.  all this baby love has to have some kind of outlet.  now if only the cat would let me dress her up for halloween, then i'd be set. 

the fail ninja is not amused by the costume idea

why the boys love me

so i was on WoW just a few minuets ago.   one of my friends came on, who happens to be a guy, and the following ensued:

me: poke

him: bg?

me: i'm sucking like hard core at pvp right now lol

me: i'm having problems focusing today

him: lol all good

him: we've all been there

me: i tried to take a shower to wake me up, but my shower failed me and ran out of hot water when i was only halfway done shaving my legs

him: O.O

him: omfg that would suck

me: yeah and i had shampoo in my hair

him: bet your nipples could cut glass

me: they can do that anyway if i have the right jewelry in

him: lmao!  true

me: i feel like this convo should be posted somewhere

him: XD

him: same

me: that's it, it's going on my blog

pretty sure this is why all the boys love me.  rather than get offended by shit that's not worth getting offended over in my opinion, i just go with it and make it funny.  oh and also because the jewelry line is a totally true statement.  just put some diamond cutting tips on my spikes and i'll be good to go. 

for the non-WoW readers, bg= battle ground and pvp=player vs player

unlocked: bitch mode

so i'm in total bitch mode right now.  and i don't mean my normal bitch mode, i mean the holly-hell-run-for-the-hills-she-could-kill-us-with-her-eyes bitch mode.  because someone hurt my baby brother.  and by baby brother i mean a six foot tall, twenty four year old man.  and by hurt i mean five or six punk ass little pussies thought it would be cool to just randomly kick the living shit out of him for no reason.  so from what i know happened, my brother was on his lunch break and was walking to the subway on the other side of the shopping center to get a sandwich.  there was a group of five or six guys just standing around, he doesn't know any of them, he didn't say anything to them, none of them said anything to him.  then they all just decided to jump him and just start pounding on him.  and no one has any idea why, especially since they made no attempt what so ever to try and take either his wallet or his phone.  the only reason they stopped is because an employee from another store ran outside and called the police.  i have pictures of what his face looked like right after it happened, but i'm not posting those here because it's a little too bloody.  those ass holes are just lucky that i don't have enough gas to make it up there right now.  they would never know what hit them.  they would not win against me and my protective older sister rage that i'm feeling right now.  they have a ten day head start on me until my next paycheck.  all i can say is, they better use it.

can anyone explain why...

...my back cramps seem to be completely immune to all forms of modern medicine?  i swear, absolutely nothing i take seems to help.  not even prescription pain killers (with the exception of vicodin, which i have none of).  the only thing that sorta helps is a really deep tissue back massage, and i have no one who can come over and do that until tomorrow night at the earliest.  so i'm basically miserable right now.  and uncomfortable.  and sorta hating life because of it.  and in closing, all i have to say is that periods and pms are proof that God is a man, because no woman, no matter how much she hated her, would wish this on another woman. 

fuck you hormones!

and i'm not talking about the hormones that make me as horny as a sex-crazed teenager.  i actually like those ones.  quite a lot in fact.  the hormones that i'm hating on would be the ones who like to become totally unstable for about three or four days every month, which in turn makes me totally unstable for about three or four days every month.  and today is one of those days.  usually i'm pretty normal (well, in a hormones being balanced kind of way at least), and a large part of that is thanks to the miracles of modern birth control pills.  and luckily with the one i'm on, i don't need to be off them for a full week.  but for those few days when i'm supposed to take the fake pills my hormone levels get way off balance.  and since i'm prone to depression, it's very, very easy for me to slip into a really, really dark place.  and i cry stupidly easily.  and things that on a normal day i wouldn't even waste two seconds thinking about will keep me up all night.  and i break out like a thirteen year old.  so right now i'm fight a war with my brain, trying to convince it that it really needs to stay in a happy place.  and there is another war with my skin trying to convince it that i am many years past puberty and this acne thing is getting old.  and then there is a final war with the fucking back cramps that won't go away.  too bad i spent all my drinking money (plus a lot of his drinking money) last night.  i could really go for a cocktail right about now.  but since that isn't going to happen, i think i'll go hide under the covers.  the fail ninja has been doing that most of the day and it seems to be working out pretty well for her.