better than birth control

so i won't lie.  i really want to have kids.  i'm looking forward to everything but actually being pregnant and not being able to drink alcohol or caffeine for like a year and a half.  but i'm not trying to have kids yet.  as much as i really, really want to, the number one reason i don't is actually quite simple (aside from the fact that i'm not married and my guy doesn't want kids until he's thirty).  this is how much it costs per year on average to raise a baby in my state:

 and this is how much money i have in my bank account at this very moment:

somehow, those two just don't quite add up to enough.  and because i don't want my kid to eat cat food, and to actually have disposable dippers because i am not washing and reusing those things, i will hold off on the whole procreation thing. not to mention the fact that my insurance from work does not cover maternity, so all of that would be an out of pocket expense.  and i am having the damn epidural, screw that "all natural" birthing crap.  i want the drugs.  and drugs are expensive.  so until i can  finally afford pop one out, you all have to endure my crazy cat lady side.  all this baby love has to have some kind of outlet.  now if only the cat would let me dress her up for halloween, then i'd be set. 

the fail ninja is not amused by the costume idea

an interesting experiment in life

so, living by myself in this town really sucks.  the cost of living here is pretty damn high.  and unexpected expenses really suck.  especially when you savings was already wiped out by a different round of unexpected expenses, and you haven't had a chance to rebuild it.  and when all of your paycheck goes to rent and bills, things can get a little weird.  like right now.  i don't get paid for another 12 days.  i have no money to buy more groceries or get gas for my car.  i'm having to come up with creative solutions to things.  pretty much, i have a bag of rice, some noodles, a few jars of peanut butter, even fewer slices of bread, 4 tortillas, and 3 cans of soup.  this has to last me until i get paid again.  this is going to get very old, very quickly.  it's also making me only eat twice a day, and not very big meals.  since i don't have money to fill up my gas tank, i have to walk every where.  i'm walking at least 4 miles a day going back and forth from work, more if i need to go somewhere else.  so i'm now burning off all the calories that i'm not taking in.  i'm kind of expecting this to end a little poorly.  i'm a little concerned about rapid weight loss and/or passing out.  also, while i can walk on my ankle now, i still don't have a normal range of motion with it and it's still sore to touch.  i'm pretty sure walking 4 miles a day is not going to help that.  so if i can make it out alive at the end of these 12 days, i'm going to buy myself the best burrito that i've had in a long time, and save at least half my paycheck for next month so this doesn't happen again.  in the meantime, anyone want to buy me dinner?  or want a roommate who comes with pets?

ode to a bean burrito

ok, so i'm not really going to write a poem about a burrito....yet.  but basically, it's a simple joy that i very rarely get to indulge in anymore.  this would be because even though i'm a college graduate, i still only have a job that just barely covers the cost of living for the town i'm in, and sadly no place else i've applied at has even called for an interview.  i already live in the cheapest place in town that is not student housing.  i no longer have cable since i can't afford it.  i have a car that i am trying really hard to convince to not fall apart since it's paid off.  i usually end up living on peanut butter and rice (not mixed together, that would be gross)  for about week each month.  so this makes pay days the most awesome thing i could possibly experience.  after i allocate my money to all the bills and necessities (like normal food), i can see what i have left for play time.  this pay check i have about $100, and i'm probably going to blow half of it this weekend and the rest at blizzcon.  tonight i spent $8 on mexican food.  there is a place by my house that has the most amazing spanish rice ever, and the burritos are pretty kick ass.  $7 will be going to hookah later, which is probably the best $7 i'm going to be spending all week.  $21 went to a handle of pre made pomegranate martini mix, which i am currently sipping away at.  hey, it's after 5:00, i'm allowed to.  it's been kind of a shitty week, so i plan on going through about half the bottle tonight, if not more.  i might be a chick, but i can out drink everyone i know except for jeff, and he has said that i'm the only person he knows that can keep up with him.  i'm sure there will be more stories on this subject at a later day.

so as it stands, i get to have fun about once a month.  my next check will go almost entirely to rent, so i need to live it up when i can.  looking back at my bank statement, excluding the two week drinks i got last sunday, i have not had a bar tab since july.  my mother tells me this is a good things.  i disagree.  this will also be the first night i have been able to go hookah since the beginning of august.  lots of lost time to make up for here.  this could be shaping up to be a pretty good night.  and to anyone unfortunate enough to have their number stored in my phone, i apologize in advance.  and if any of you put me on texts from last night, will you at least let me know so i can link to it?