drama llama

 

ok well technically that is a drama alpaca, but that doesn't rhyme quite so nicely.  but anyway, who ever told the drama llama that it needed to visit me today, all i have to say is fuck you asshole!  may the fleas of a thousand camels assault your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch.  because i have enough every day drama of my own, and i really don't need to add to it.  the extremely abridged version of the story is that some women are just fucking crazy.  don't want to post too many details on here just because it involves other people as well and i don't want to impose too much on their privacy.  but if every one could just make me a promise right now, and agree not to marry crazy people, the world would be a better place.  mmmmmmk? now if you'll excuse me, this stress headache is killing me and i need to go down about a thousand more milligrams of ibuprofen.  because my liver doesn't already hate me enough from my large amounts of alcohol consumption.  guess i better start saving up for a new one now. 

pineapple! or happy birthday drak!

so i was planning on doing this post before i realized that it was drak's birthday today.  but now that i know it is, it seems even more fitting to do this post today.  anyway, drak is a guy i know from WoW.  he's in my guild.  and yes, drak is his WoW name and not his real name.  aside from playing WoW, he has this little side project that he likes to call "being in the army."  the government, for some crazy reason, seems to find this more important than his WoW time, so they decided to ship him out.  he is in an infantry platoon and is currently about two months into a twelve month deployment to afghanistan.  if i remember correctly, this is his third deployment.  and he decided to do something a little different this time around.

drak has decided to make a podcast about the experience of this deployment.  obviously, certain things need to be edited or censored for security and safety reasons, and because of this there is a lot of random usage of the word "pineapple."  but other than that, not much is held back.  it is by no means politically correct.  there is a lot of guy humor and cussing going on, and if you're a pussy and get easily offended you shouldn't listen to it.  but i think it's all really, really interesting and most times extremely funny to listen to.  a lot of it might seem a little crass, but it's a coping strategy.  they deal with a lot of shit over there, so if crude jokes make it easier to deal with, i say go for it.  so every one go support your troops, listen to thenotsoquietprofessionals.  and to SFC Cormac and the rest of the platoon, stay safe, come home in one piece, and keep making these podcast because i usually end up laughing so hard that it scares my cat.  and if there is a way to send pizza to afghanistan, let me know and i'll make it happen.

i'm still here!

so i really have just not been in the right mindset to sit down and come up with new posts this past week.  just a lot of stress and drama and i mentally wan't in a good place for it.  alex felt that this meant he should give a topic to write about.  he wants me to explain why girls will, as he put it, "unnecessarily cock block on their friends."  sadly for alex, this does not make a good blog topic because it can be summed up in three sentences.   here it goes:  we're girls.  we actually care about our friends and don't want them to wake up next to something they might regret.  that's just how we roll.*   ok, now that that has been taken care of, moving on to the actual topic for today: the beach! 

so it's january right now.  to most people, this means parkas, snow, and defrosting and/or digging out your car before leaving in the morning.  for me it mean temperatures in the 70's, tank tops, and sunburns.  i decided i needed some time to unwind, so i went to the beach.  got to play with my new camera, which i fall in love with all over again every time i use it.  i got to practice using the "sports capture" feature today on the surfers.  pretty much it takes as many high speed pictures as it can within fifteen seconds.  usually end up with about thirty plus pictures so you can so through and pick the bests ones.  also works well to capture waves crashing.  i could ramble on forever about my camera, but i'll stop here for now.  back on topic now (sort of).

so i hung out on the pier for a long time.  this is the dreaded pier for melanie, since her cell phone was cast off into davy jone's locker from this pier.  this is also where i got most of my surfer pictures, and there is a lot of sitting around and waiting for those.  damn them for being picky about waves.  but it gave me time to people watch in between.  i saw a lot of pretty cool tattoos today.  one guy even had the dark mark on his inner forearm.  (now that is one dedicated harry potter fan.)  saw a lot of people wearing things that they really shouldn't have been.  speedos and shorty shorts are never a good thing on any guy, not even the ones that are in shape.  also, certain ladies should not wear bikinis.  i include myself in this group for now.  if i know i shouldn't be doing it, why is it so hard for them to figure out?  there also seemed to be a lot of hippies out today for some reason.  at least i was not accosted by a crazy man talking about saving my soul before the world ended.  and yes, that really did happen last time i went.  apparently me and my mom are both in danger of going to hell.

after i decided i had enough surfer pictures, i walked around the town for a little bit.  bought some rings to use in place of the barbell for my industrial, just to change things up every once in a while.  eventually i made my way back to the sand.  lots of dogs were out today.  makes me want a puppy even more.  i pretty sure that if i had a dog i would take it with me to the beach every chance i got.  except my dog will actually listen to me when off lease and not go chasing after every other dog.  i can't wait to get a place with a yard and make that happen. 

so over all, it was a nice day.  the ocean alone always has a calming effect.  taking pictures has an even bigger one.  and walking around for about four hours enjoying both of those things adds up to one very stress free day.  and i get to do it all again monday night when i'm going to go take some sunset shots.  can't wait.

* now to just sit back and wait for him to bitch at me about how that's not a real answer :)

sick day

so i went to work for two hours today and then left on a sick day.  i had woken up this morning with one of those headaches/stomachaches where you have the sensation that you are hung over even though you were sober the night before.  which is always the worst.  i feel like i'm paying the price for the fun someone else got to have.  after a cereal bar, a bottle of water, and 1,000 mg of tylenol didn't improve anything, i figured i was done for the day.  i'm pretty much going to just sleep it off.  probably going to have some rice in a bit and just take it easy.  i know it's not from actually being ill, so i should be doing better by tomorrow at the latest.  it's a lovely combination of being an insomniac and not getting sleep with a health dose of stress thrown in for good measure.  part of it is stress from work and money.  the other part is because the drama llama decided to show up again and has just made this a really rough week.  so i'm off to continue my nap, and probably kill things on WoW later, which is like the best stress relief ever.  makes me really miss my pvp server when i would take my max level into the newbie zones and just one shot everyone down for shits and giggles.  or at least until they all got pissed enough to get on the mains and take me out.  ahhh, the good old days.

trapped

my circumstances negate the need for change, and prevent it from happening.  my job has become dead end with no foreseeable way for me to advance.  it pays me just enough to cover my cost of living, but with none left over for savings.  and with my hours getting cut, it might not even cover that.  my apartment costs too much for me to live here alone, but is too small to have a roommate that i'm not sharing a bed with.  because i can't save anything, i can't afford to move since i can't pay the outrageous amounts this town likes to call "deposits."  i really want to leave this area, because the cost of living is too high, but this goes back to the not having enough for a deposit.  i need a new car, because mine is getting old and starting to have problems, but i need it to last until i can find a new job.  and finding a job right now is difficult.  it's not worth changing jobs unless i'm making more than i am now, and there aren't a lot of jobs like that out there.  i think one of the worst things about this situation is how i got into.  i moved to this town for a person who is no longer in  my life.  after that eventually dissipated, i was stuck here.  too poor to live here and too poor to move.  other than the few friends i have made that were truly my friends and not people i met through him, i have nothing holding me here.  i need to find a way to break out.  and i need to do it soon before it starts to affect my sanity. 

real life is about to get in the way

so a lot of shit just hit the fan in a big way.  there are a lot of issues going on with someone close to me that i need to help them work out.  expect me to be afk for a while.  if you believe in God or any other spiritual being, please send prayers our way.  if you know me personally, i'll let you know what's happening when it gets all sorted out.

what i've become

so as alex pointed out, it's been a few days since i made any new posts.  sadly, there is a reason for this.  remember how there was a bit of foreshadowing in my last post?  well, it happened.  i have become a bit of a WoW zombie this week.   when i uploaded that pic of my new toon, she was level 18.  she is now level 40 and has some pretty kick ass gear because i've been doing a ton of random dungeons.  i also pvp like crazy.  so yeah, had a slight lapse into the dark zone that the friends and family of WoW players fear.  the zone where real life social skills are replaced by the ability to carry out a conversation in vent, guild chat and whisper, all while being #1 dps in your dungeon group.*  the place where there only reason you make yourself go to work is so that you can pay your next subscription fee.  the place where you start to question how important things like sleep and hygiene are because they cut into your play time.  but don't fear my friends and random internet peoples.  i have seen the light.  i promise to be less zombie like this upcoming week.  i have plans to write out a few posts this weekend, and they won't all be gamer related.  oh, and as a slight aside here, if you see alex, remember to be nice to him.  he holds weird grudges and plots out revenge like no other person i know.

*there is a slight upside to this for me.  remember the post about being a female gamer?  yeah, that one again.  well i have about three guys who i lovingly refer to as my "minions" who i can get to do pretty much anything i want.  yeah.  i'm that good.

the songs of my life

so lately i've been relating my life to my playlist on itunes.  it's actually working out far better than i would have expected.  here are a few of the songs that are currently depicting my view on my myself and the things around me.

song: "the devil's best dress"

artist: corb lund

what it relates to: how i am currently feeling about myself

song: "the spirit of jazz"
artist: the gaslight anthem
what it relates to:  my current feelings on love and what i'm looking for in my partner




song: "the ghost inside"
artist: broken bells
what it relates to: how i'm feeling about money



another good song for how i feel about money would be "suffer for the trust" by ike reilly, but sadly there is no video for that one

song: yeasayer
artist: madder red
what it relates to: my life in general right now, but in a very abstract type way



song: whole new way
artist: scissor sisters
what it relates to: my feelings on sex


as a side note, this was not the video i was intending to use.  but it made me laugh, so what the hell

song: i got a thing for you
artist: jim bianco
what it relates to: absolutely nothing, i just really want to do a dance routine to this song
CAUTION this video is NSFW

an interesting experiment in life

so, living by myself in this town really sucks.  the cost of living here is pretty damn high.  and unexpected expenses really suck.  especially when you savings was already wiped out by a different round of unexpected expenses, and you haven't had a chance to rebuild it.  and when all of your paycheck goes to rent and bills, things can get a little weird.  like right now.  i don't get paid for another 12 days.  i have no money to buy more groceries or get gas for my car.  i'm having to come up with creative solutions to things.  pretty much, i have a bag of rice, some noodles, a few jars of peanut butter, even fewer slices of bread, 4 tortillas, and 3 cans of soup.  this has to last me until i get paid again.  this is going to get very old, very quickly.  it's also making me only eat twice a day, and not very big meals.  since i don't have money to fill up my gas tank, i have to walk every where.  i'm walking at least 4 miles a day going back and forth from work, more if i need to go somewhere else.  so i'm now burning off all the calories that i'm not taking in.  i'm kind of expecting this to end a little poorly.  i'm a little concerned about rapid weight loss and/or passing out.  also, while i can walk on my ankle now, i still don't have a normal range of motion with it and it's still sore to touch.  i'm pretty sure walking 4 miles a day is not going to help that.  so if i can make it out alive at the end of these 12 days, i'm going to buy myself the best burrito that i've had in a long time, and save at least half my paycheck for next month so this doesn't happen again.  in the meantime, anyone want to buy me dinner?  or want a roommate who comes with pets?

feeling a little emo

so life can sneak up on you in funny little ways.  like tomorrow is making me feel way more emotional than i would have ever expected it to.  tomorrow will be different for me than it has been for the last six years, and for some reason it's a little unnerving.  the event itself is unimportant, since that's not really where the issue lies.   it's just forcing me to realize how much things have changed this year, some for the better, some for the worse.  it's always just a little surreal when something unimportant and insignificant causes you to evaluate a large portion of your life.  while i know that none of it can be changed, and i don't really regret most of it, it's just weird to see how things you did years ago could have had entirely different outcomes.  but that's just the way it is.  can't do anything about it now, so i don't want to waste to much of my rambling on it.  i'll be back to my usual sarcastic, witty self by friday.  until then, enjoy this picture of a pretty flower

credit: me!

ode to a bean burrito

ok, so i'm not really going to write a poem about a burrito....yet.  but basically, it's a simple joy that i very rarely get to indulge in anymore.  this would be because even though i'm a college graduate, i still only have a job that just barely covers the cost of living for the town i'm in, and sadly no place else i've applied at has even called for an interview.  i already live in the cheapest place in town that is not student housing.  i no longer have cable since i can't afford it.  i have a car that i am trying really hard to convince to not fall apart since it's paid off.  i usually end up living on peanut butter and rice (not mixed together, that would be gross)  for about week each month.  so this makes pay days the most awesome thing i could possibly experience.  after i allocate my money to all the bills and necessities (like normal food), i can see what i have left for play time.  this pay check i have about $100, and i'm probably going to blow half of it this weekend and the rest at blizzcon.  tonight i spent $8 on mexican food.  there is a place by my house that has the most amazing spanish rice ever, and the burritos are pretty kick ass.  $7 will be going to hookah later, which is probably the best $7 i'm going to be spending all week.  $21 went to a handle of pre made pomegranate martini mix, which i am currently sipping away at.  hey, it's after 5:00, i'm allowed to.  it's been kind of a shitty week, so i plan on going through about half the bottle tonight, if not more.  i might be a chick, but i can out drink everyone i know except for jeff, and he has said that i'm the only person he knows that can keep up with him.  i'm sure there will be more stories on this subject at a later day.

so as it stands, i get to have fun about once a month.  my next check will go almost entirely to rent, so i need to live it up when i can.  looking back at my bank statement, excluding the two week drinks i got last sunday, i have not had a bar tab since july.  my mother tells me this is a good things.  i disagree.  this will also be the first night i have been able to go hookah since the beginning of august.  lots of lost time to make up for here.  this could be shaping up to be a pretty good night.  and to anyone unfortunate enough to have their number stored in my phone, i apologize in advance.  and if any of you put me on texts from last night, will you at least let me know so i can link to it?