eleven hours

so.....some one decided to get in their car and take out a power pole right before my lunch break yesterday.  on the complete opposite side of town from my apartment.  for whatever reason, this meant that i would not get any power for the following eleven hours.  never mind that the light in the stupid parking lot right next to my complex were working just fine, my apartment complex was just fucked.  so luckily i was at work for a few hours, and then a work dinner for a few more hours.  when i got back from that i still didn't have power, so alex said i could come hang out with him at his work since he was the only one there.  got to see some pretty interesting people there (he works at a hotel).  one lady kept complaining about how the only restaurants near the hotel were not very vegetarian friendly,  because you know, apparently that was his fault.  she was also all upset that apparently nothing was close enough for her to walk to.  because you know, that was totally his fault also.  she also came back about ten minutes later because she wanted to change rooms because her's was too close to the stairs, but she didn't want to be moved to a room that had a view of the street.  the next crazy lady was some woman who came in and asked to be upgraded to a suit.  alex started to tell her the cost for that, but she cut him off and said she wanted to be upgraded for free.  when he told her that he couldn't do it for free, she got all pissy, and kept repeating that she had got that done here before, and wanted to know why he wouldn't do that for her now.  when he explained that it has never been a policy of the hotel to upgrade for free, she started going on about how it says they can do that on the website.  which it doesn't.  i check when i got home.  the only things that are free are breakfast, dvd rentals and wifi.  the third group was three overly bleached, overly tanned girls who rented harry potter and then couldn't figure out how to use the dvd player.  after a night of watching all this, it just makes me glad that i no longer work at a returns desk.

why yes i do dance in my panties

considering that i spend like ninety percent of my alone time with my pants on the floor, this isn't really a surprising statement.  luckily i only do this at home.  i have never been drunk enough to where i thought removing my pants in public was a good idea, but i have come close a few times.  my most recent endeavor would be last night.  i was a bit tipsy on the smirnoff ice, and pantless, and the following song came on :

much singing and dancing ensued.  and the best part?  i had a repeat performance tonight, only this time i was totally sober.  at least my cat is my only audience for this, and she doesn't judge me.  she knows better than to do that.  i feed her.

two doses of bullsh*t for the price of one

the evil toilet

so this has been a week that was literally full of shit.  first on saturday, my damn toilet broke.  just flat out decided that it wasn't going to flush any more, and i have no idea why.  it had been working fine all week, no crazy item ended up inside it, it just decided that it hated me and wasn't going to work anymore.  so i'm plunging away at the damn thing for a good half hour with no progress being made.  i was trying to fix it myself because the maintenance guys at my apartment know far less about home repair than i do, and i only know the basics.  but after working on it for so long, i figured maybe someone else would have better luck.  or at least a better plunger.  but that didn't happen.  the office was closed, so i called the after hours line.  apparently the whole work team for my complex was on a bus somewhere and wouldn't be able to work on my toilet until tomorrow, and since it wasn't at the point of flooding everything they weren't going to call an outside plumber for it either.  when i asked what the hell i was supposed to do without a toilet for twenty four hours, it was suggested that i find another one to use.  yeah, that's practical.  because i always keep a spare toilet in my back pocket.  so i found this to be a very unappealing option.  so i tried plunging again off and on for about another hour and a half with no such luck.  i finally just got fed up and went over home depot.  after being lost for about ten minutes, i finally found someone to show me where the drain snakes were.  i ended up getting a hand crank drain auger for like $9 because there was no way i was going to wait another day to be able to use my own toilet.  luckily i was able to fix the problem after about ten minutes once i had the proper tool.  first dose of bullshit resolved.

the second dose was this morning.  the guy i had recently started talking with sent me a text saying he couldn't come over today and to let him know when i was awake and he would tell me why.  so i give him a call and he tells me that this girl he has know for a long time admitted to him that she liked him and so now he wants to see where things go with her.  and this is after how just a day ago he was telling me that he felt really comfortable and at ease around me and how he really enjoyed hanging out and blah blah blah.  he also pulled the whole "it's not you, it's me" type deal, which i absolutely hate.  it's beyond cliche and does absolutely nothing to make the other person feel better.  he also did the "let's still be friends" because apparently i'm still really cool to hang out with.  this is more or less like telling someone hey i really like you, but i just like someone else better.  so yeah, that's really not going to happen.  so sadly, another guy gets added to the list of ones who started out nice but either pulled some sort of jerk move on me and/or turned into an ass hole.  i would really love to meet a nice guy who will actually stay nice after the first week or two.  is that really so much to ask for?  but on the plus side, hearing my mom refer to him as being a douche bag on her own accord totally made it worth it.  another reason why i less than three my mom.

ewwwwwww! man thong!

ok so a totally unrelated conversation today sparked this wonderful/awful memory from my college years.  melanie should appreciate this since she was right there next to me to see it in all it's disturbing glory.  i'm talking about the man thong incident. 

way back when we lived in the dorms together.  and for some reason, the first floor was set up with the guys on the left and the girls on the right, but every other floor had guys on the right and girls on the left.  this meant that those closest laundry room to us was the one on the guy's side.  and since a lot of these guys apparently never did laundry, they had a tendency to forget they had started in and leave their clothes in the washer and/or dryer for hours after the cycle was done.  this led to a lot of taking out guy clothes and putting them on top of the machine so you could wash your own clothes.  wasn't really a big deal.  no one seemed to ever care, and if they walked in on you doing it they usually just felt bad forgetting to come move their clothes and causing you an inconvenience.  i never really had a problem with doing it either since it was just usually jeans, t-shirts and the occasional boxer or bath towel.  no big deal.  that was, until the incident.

it started off as any other laundry day.  as usual, the machines were all done running but still full of clothes.  so i picked the machine on the end and started to pile the wet clothes on top of it.  all was going swimmingly until one little piece of clothing decided to break free from the pack and try to make a leap of freedom toward the door.  i had all the other clothes piled on top of the washer by now, so i turned around to pick up what had fallen.  i was expecting a sock or something based on the size of it.  but then i looked down and shrieked.  i don't remember exactly where melanie had been standing, but i do remember us both squealing out "ewwwwwww! man thong!"  the worse part was that i still needed to get this thing off the floor.  reminding myself that at least this was a clean man thong, i used two fingers to pick it up, touching as little of it as possible.  i then flung it at the pile of clothes, where it landed right smack dab in the center on top of every thing, for all the world to see.  

the worse part* of this all was the material it was made out of.  it wasn't silk or satin or any other type of sexy material that would have made this a "special occasion only" piece of clothing.  it was a grey jersey knit.  the kind of underwear material that you wear when you don't think anyone else will be seeing your undies that day.  so that meant this was some guy's casual, every day choice of underwear.  and personally, i like my man in boxers.  boxer briefs are pushing it, and tighty whities are right out.  i have no idea how i would react if a guy were to drop trouser in front of me and i was greeted by the sight of a man thong.  all i can say is that i am extremely glad i never found out who it belonged to.  i don't think i would have ever looked at that guy the same way again.

* ok, second worse part.  the first worse part was that i had to touch it.

why being a girl can suck

the good news: no babies for at least another month.

the bad news: every fucking other thing.  and on top of it, i have a five to six hour drive, after working a full day.  so be nice to me today.  or else.

my favorite words ever

via

so tonight i went to this dinner for work.  it was sponsored by some vendor trying to push their flea control product.  i honestly didn't care what they were talking about because all it meant to me was free steak dinner.  so me and one of the other ladies got there a little early because we figured we could chow down on the appetizers and knock back a few cocktails before this thing got started.  she was still debating if she wanted to drink, but i figured i have not been out drinking since march so i was allowed a cocktail with dinner.  i walk up to the bartender and ask him to make me a vodka sour.  i start to pull out my wallet, and he then tells me the most beautiful words "don't worry about that, the bar is hosted."  it took me a minute to process this.  i had to make sure that he had really, truly, for reals given me the green light to order stuff i couldn't afford.  once i had a moment to absorb this, i looked straight at him and told him to make it with grey goose.  i honestly don't remember the last time so few words have made me so happy.  i was so giddy i practically skipped back to the table.  only reason that i didn't was that i was not risking spilling one single drop of that most precious liquid.  i let the other woman know the good news, and she made a beeline for the bar.  the one down side is that i cut my self off at two drinks.  partly because i still had to drive my ass home after the presentation, and mostly because my boss was there also.  and considering that he doesn't drink at all ever, i thought getting tipsy in front of him might have several negative side effects.  but still, it was a free two drinks.  and the wonderful man behind the bar poured like my boys over at black sheep do.  and i can be happy with that.  i didn't even have to use my cleavage.

why i wish i could afford therapy

so just to be clear, i'm not doing this for sympathy or attention or anything like that.  it's just to kind of vent for myself.  like i said above, i can't afford therapy, so i need some kind of outlet.  also, if any of you aspiring psychology students out there feel like take a crack at any of this, please do.

i guess my most prominent issue would be insomnia.  i've talked about it here a little bit before.  it started when i was a little kid and i would freak out if i saw what time it was when i was trying to go to sleep.  i would get all worked up because i would know i should be asleep by that time, and then i would get stressed out and it would make falling asleep harder.  it go so bad that i would have to turn the clock around so i couldn't see it just to be able to sleep.  since then, i get it in phases.  it never really goes away, but i will have periods of normal sleep.  i don't get it as bad as some people.  i can still sleep almost every night.  just a lot of nights i don't get much sleep.  i will lay down and it will take me hours to fall asleep.  and when i do, it's usually not good sleep.  i either have lots of weird dreams or never get into a deep sleep and end up waking up a lot.  over the years, i have learned to function on less than four of sleep.  it's not something i like, but you adapt.  it's become worse since i live alone now.  on nights when i have someone over, i will usually sleep better.  i think a lot of that has to do with feeling more secure when i'm not alone.

my other issue, while probably more serious, luckily doesn't happen as often.  i started having really bad periods of depression in high school.  i know exactly what started it, but i don't want to get into that here.  unless i'm in the right state of mind, i don't like to talk about it because it makes things worse.  only a very select few know what it is because of this.  honestly, just thinking about it brings back bad memories.  this is also the reason why i never got treated for it.  my mom had brought me to the doctor during one of these times, and i lied about why i was like that because i didn't want to talk about it in front of her.  since then, i get periods where i am just not in a good place.  different things can trigger it.  sometimes it's my self image, sometimes it's feeling extremely lonely, i still have a lot of emotional issues regarding my ex and certain members of my family, and then there are the usual factors of work, stress, money, etc.  it also varies in how bad it is and how long it lasts.  some times it's just an hour or so, other times it can last for a week.  randomly tonight i was in the shower and just this feeling of intense loneliness and almost started crying for really no reason at all.  so yeah, it's one of those nights.  yay for me.  at least it doesn't feel like this one is going to last for too long.  at least i hope not.